My wife has been gone for a year. I want her back every day, but only recently, I began feeling a pain similar to when she first left. Maybe it is because I have begun talking to other women and I sense the finality of the situation. I even had a dream in which she wanted to come back, but I didn't let her because of her motives (in the dream).
Sunday night, my daughter was admitted to the hospital for an allergic reaction (she's fine). So, I spent the night in the same room with my wife and daughter. My wife and I get along just fine. We talked and joked. It all felt right. When we left the hospital, it felt like I lost her all over again.
I don't know why I'm sharing this. I am usually composed. I didn't ask for her back, but I implied it several times. I did say that I love her. This happens every few months. I leave her alone for months. We spend some time together. She SEEMS to put out signas and signals that she is interested in me (i.e. telling me she isn't/hasn't been with other men, constantly primping, etc). So, I make a move and she rebukes me.
I didn't turn it to a serious conversation this time. I believe I'll just let it go and not contact her. The temptation is there to get a hold of her and ask if she feels we made a connection again, if she feels right when the family is together.
You have dated but have you started to get serious about someone? Drop the rope and go have some fun. Living in limbo sucks you don't get the Benifits of being married or single. Go read gouchie's post and let her go she's already gone anyway.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
Thanks for all the advice. You are right. It just doesn't FEEL like the right move. Maybe that's the 13 years of committment. I almost wish she had cheated (or gave me some reason other than "I just don't feel like being married any more), so at least I would understand this situation and there would be finality.
Now what you do is the opposite of what you have been doing--don't offer her to come home, don't say you wish you guys were back together. Start living your life "as if."
