I am thinking of sending H's CV out so that he can get a night job. Coming home and finding him here has really changed my routine and it...bothers me! LOL He is nervous, he is funny, he wants to go on a shopping spree. CHANGE. H hates changes. It was one of the reasons that made me believe he wouldnt change "us", our "team".
My dad is getting worse and now, he wants to fight. Obvioulsy he feels he is drifting away but the sitch is not reversible. I tried to warn my mom. She said she knows...
Reading saffie's post on forgiveness reminded I am still ways away from feeling OK. I go back and forth a lot. I am not consistent and not ready to let go yet. I still have visions of confronting OW and feel constantly threatened.
We havent made love for 3 weeks. We snuggle and hug and kiss but ever since I told him I am missing something, he backed off completely. Honestly, I dont care much.
Coach once posted to someone that if you dont get a second honey moon you are not piecing. I never got mine and if I did, it wasnt noticable.
Sometimes I think my negative nature is all that gets in the way. Sometimes I feel there is a moment that I need to trust and I get over it shutting off, in the sense of "dont care what he feels/does/thinks" etc.Our progress has been one step forward, two back. You dont get very far that way. K
I am alive and my kids are great! Work is hectic but OK and winter is almost here. All good things.
