Hi, I’m new here. I am posting on this thread because my wife and I have been through Retrouvaille and have continued to be involved with that wonderful program. One of the leaders in our community recommend Michele’s books and I just finished reading Divorce Remedy, which is absolutely the best book I have read on the subject.
In our case, neither one was entirely enthusiastic about attending Retrouvaille (we made our fist weekend in May 2000). The *only* reason I went was so that I could truthfully say I had ‘tried everything.’ However, I also recognized even then that I had to make a genuine effort and not just give it lip-service. I have to say that all that is needed is entering into the program with an open mind and actually *doing* the program (which includes all the post sessions as a critical component of it) will reap many rewards in their marriage.
Our community also has monthly CORE meetings (Continuing Our Retrouvaille Experience) in which ‘graduates’ meet to hear short presentations by other alumni and receive support.
An important element is the recognition that nobody’s marriage is ever ‘fixed’ but is a work in progress.
If there is an affair in the marriage, they do ask that it be ended before the weekend, since it is really impossible to do meaningful work on a marriage with that going on. On our weekend, one spouse came directly from breaking up with the other person. (I know this site has abbreviations for this, and hopefully I will learn them in time - I did just join!) Similarly with addictions, which will prevent any sustainable work on the marriage being done unless recovery is entered.
There is one slight correction I’d like to make: Retrouvaille receives absolutely no monetary support from the Catholic Church, and is not co-sponsored by it. Some parishes may offer ‘moral’ support (but many are woefully uninformed about it). Although it is Catholic in origin, Retrouvaille International is a non-profit organization that is entirely self-sustaining through contributions. In our community at least, no couple is *ever* turned away for lack of finances. As your experience has shown, Retrouvaille is not only open to all, but actively welcomes all faiths (or even no-faith).
I hope that this is not too long a post - I look forward to participating here more!
