Okay, acknowledging that my absense of anger at present may be just a passing phase. Acknowleding that Eric is right and having some positive reaction/reinforcement of my ego by other men does make me feel there is life after H. Feeling that my life at this time is totally about me, the kids and the grands.
Acknowledging that he doesn't know what he wants right now, but he sure doesn't think he wants me. He is pushing the divorce, not me. I can fight it, at great legal and emotional expense, or I can Let Him Go.
I don't feel I am living for a call or message from him. I'm actually looking forward to the court date. There is some satisfaction in the knowledge that he will find out soon enough that his problem still exists, and it had nothing to do with me.
Hasn't that been what DB'ng is about: Letting Go, Making my own Life, and detaching from H? Six months ago I wouldn't even go to the town where he lives, in fear of running into him or her, and it's a large town. Now: so what?
We are told often enough that we have no control over the actions of our MLC'rs, only ourselves. I feel very good about me. Moving on is his decision.
P.S. Eric, you haven't lived until you've sat on a wood stump with a cushion tied to it in an Oklahoma bar ( right across the line) Just let me know and I'll make us 'reservations'.
