I'm a little lost. I can't find his response. Did he point-blank say he's seeing other women?
You two are no longer married so that's his right. Here's a question, why does it have to be some drawn out conversation?
That seems painful -- for you not him. Why not just send an email saying "unless this is an exclusive relationship just you and me, then I am done seeing you."
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Thanks for posting. Yes, Mr. A did say that he's seeing other women. And we are divorced now, yes.
So you're right, there's no reason for a conversation unless I want one. I'm still considering that option.
I didn't talk to Mr. A today. I have not talked to him since around noon yesterday, when we had a short phone conversation.
I didn't sleep well last night and had a hard time getting through the day today. I hate to admit this, but the only thing that got me out of my funk was to be kind of rude to a coworker. I would never normally do that.
Then I went to see my IC. It was good. He gave me some homework assignments, which I'll work on this week.
Then I came home and puttered around. That's about it.
Today was the first day that I didn't wear my wedding ring to work and nobody mentioned it. I plan to keep not wearing it and hope that people mind their own business. I think they will.
That's all for me. I hope that everybody is doing well.
Mrs. A--I didn't realize that you were still wearing your wedding wing.
Was it really hard not to wear it today? good for you for going to your I.C. and not talking to Mr. A. It is super tough.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Following onlong with your thread. Even though you had a tough Monday you are sounding better to me. It seems like you are starting to really come to grips with what is going on in your life with Mr. A. I think this is a good thing.
How do you stay at someone's house all the time, have sex with them, be romantic, spend evenings together, and still think it's ok to date other people?!?!? And the person you're doing that with is someone you were married to until two months ago and you lived with for seven years????? Again, WTFFFFFFFFF?????
Oh, Mrs. A, I feel the frustration in yoru post and can totally understand where you are coming from. As to why he lied and said he wasn't seeing anyone not long ago... cheaters lie. ALL cheaters lie. True facts.
I think you are doing well and should tell him you're not into being his sidepiece. I would probably advise telling him to move all his stuff out and go elsewhere to stay. Him staying with you is NOT helpin ghte issue. Right now he thinks he can have you on the side and as a crash pad (your home) while he goes out and dates/sleeps with other women. Note he said there were other women, not woman (Singular). Have you gotten tested yet??? Do it!
I can't get the scowl off my face today. Any suggestions?
Soliel, I haven't seen Mr. A since Wednesday morning. He's not staying at the house now. I told him not to use my house as a crash pad and he hasn't.
I'm right back in the pits again. I know this is not permanent - been through it before - but it's the worst. I'm trying to tell myself, My life sucks right now but it won't always. But that's not working too well.
Also, my eyes are super puffy and my face is swollen. I look like hell. That combined with not wearing my ring is making me want to hide in my office.
(((((Mrs A))))) It will get better. I know you can't see that now but it does. Right now it seems that your spirits are up or down depending on Mr A and how he is or isn't involved in your life. This is all about you hon. You need to focus on the life you want and I can bet it doesn't include the man you want to be dating other people.
So put him on the backburner for now. Let's get going on what is going to change your mood around. Do you have a pet already? They can do wonders for your mental health. Repaint your walls, change the colors in your home, join a book club, volunteer. Just some ideas to get you started.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Yes you are feeling badly because he sucked you back in to hoping for reconcilliation and the happiness that you so desparately want to have with him. Now you are having to deal with the rejection and detaching all over again.
Time heals these wounds it's just a b*tch getting through them.
Time heals these wounds it's just a b*tch getting through them.
Ain't that the truth!
I'm feeling lost. Kat, thanks for the GAL suggestions. I was doing pretty well GAL'ing over last spring and summer, but that all went to pot in the past couple of months. Truth is, I just don't have it in me at the moment to socialize.
I'm thinking of calling Jody, my old DB coach. Only because I know she'll give me concrete advice on how to get out of my head and get a grip on my emotions. But that's a lot of $$$ just to get through this mood!
