Thanks for the feedback OMT. It is easy to lose sight of what is right in these types of situations.
I'm not sure that anything will help this R and it is all a no win. I don't feel I need to "win" in any part of this situation, but I AM tired of her thinking that she just gets whatever she wants. I have let her operate that way for our entire relationship pretty much because I make enough that we could afford it and I wanted her to be happy, which didn't happen anyway. She is only working part-time and refuses to go back full-time. If she needs more money, she needs to work more.
I do agree with the kids playing basketball, and I could probably afford to pay, but so can she. I was lucky enough to get a sweetheart deal on rent, but that won't last and I feel that I HAVE accepted my responsibility as I am already paying her $3,200 per month (half my income) in "Family Support". That should be plenty to cover all of the expenses for everyone in the household. Plus, she still gets all of the money she earns. The $3,200 was an amount my atty advised that I agree to, which I did, and then my atty told me that she made a mistake in recommending I agree to that much and I was paying around $800 per month more than a "standard" agreement would have me pay. I need to pay for my W and kids to live, but I have to be able to live too. I have my own bills to pay.
I'm going to have to look-up what "normal" expenses are, because she is asking me to pay for 1/2 of basically everything. I have told her in the past that I would pay based on the percentage of the time that I have the kids. Right now, that is 36% of the time, but considering that I am already overpaying by such a large amount, I have decided that I will pay nothing extra until the court order is changed.
The temporary order gives me placement of the children on Wednesday nights and every other Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. We went to a mediation session for the placement of the kids and the mediator told us if we could come to an agreement, we should implement it right away. We agreed that I would have the kids Wednesday and Thursday nights and every Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday day. They go back to their moms on Sun evening. However, she is refusing to abide by the agreement until the court order is changed, against the advice of the child mediator. The only change is that I get the kids on Thursday night too and give-up every other Sunday night. What's the big deal? The big deal is that all of the payment requirements will be reviewed at that time. Thus my stance on not changing until the court order is changed.
I don't believe that the kids will lose their sports. She will cave in and pay. If not, I consider them losing their sport a consequence of her decision to divorce. Also, it would only be for one season, because this should be settled before too much longer, I hope!
