SO, the questions remains, just spell it out for this dumb old redneck gal from the mountains. WHAT QUESTION?
Pun I don't believe that dumb old redneck thing. My MIL is from a tiny town outside Conway Ark. and she is one of the wisest ladies I have had the pleasure to know.
You're not getting away with that one...
Originally Posted By: Truegritter
Why are you here standing?
What does love mean to you?
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
Eric, thank you for writing but I think you take things too literally
Your welcome – should I take this response literally?
Quote:
Part of that is watching out for #1, even when you don't feel like #1.
My only comment would be is HOW you watch out for number 1. I do agree though that YOU should be no 1 to YOU.
Oh…and please answer the questions that Grit posted above.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Love to me means two people who have been together for 50 years and still look into each other's eyes as if it was their first date. Love means being able to sit in companiable silence without a hint of boredom, love means being able to finish each others thoughts and sentences. To be thinking the same thing at the same time, you're so in tune to each other. Above all, love means trust, that you can put your life into this person's hands and his into yours, and know you will both be safe. Nothing gets through me to you and vice versa.
I'm standing because I think that was what I had with my H. Despite the micro MLC eight years ago, we had managed to regain our stride and wavelength. I believe in the man that I married. I understand that, divorce or no, this is not that man. I have quit so much standing for H and marriage as I am standing for myself and my family. I have to be the strong one for them now.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Love to me means two people who have been together for 50 years and still look into each other's eyes as if it was their first date. Love means being able to sit in companiable silence without a hint of boredom, love means being able to finish each others thoughts and sentences. To be thinking the same thing at the same time, you're so in tune to each other.
Pun thank you for sharing that. I like it. I think that is my goal too.
I think I can get there with my W. Not right now. She is too confused with things I can only guess about.
I don't know how she feels. I don't know what it must be like to have to deal with the trauma she suffered as a child...
that is coming home to roost now when we should be having our own children instead of her reliving what was done to her when she was a child.
I will never be able to finish her thoughts on that...
I will never be able to finish her sentences on that...
As much as I want to take her pain away I can't
I HAVE TRIED
and I have suffered the failure of that.
I have blamed myself for that.
And I have been angry about that.
That is a happy day what you describe up there and I want it.
BUT
I think when we take our vows there is a part that anticipates that it isn't always that way...
For better or worse.
If that happy day is the goal...
How do we get there?
Does trust get stronger from the worse? Or weaker?
Does our "in tuneness" get stronger or weaker from our trials?
Are we entitled to love on our terms? Always?
How would your H describe love do you think?
There is only one person who can ask these questions because right now
there is only one person who will listen to the answers Punkin.
Guess who that sexy Grandma is?
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
That's the whole banana. Right now, Love to my husband means having sex with someone the same age as his son, although they apparently have nothing in common but their jobs. It makes him look cool. It means drinking nightly and partying like it's 1999. He can't be a Papa, a father, or a husband. He's too busy being a teenager. That's not anger. That's fact.
I may not be entitled to love on my terms, buy I certainly can't deal with love on his. As the song says, Shouldn't I have that, shouldn't I have that, all of that, and passionate kisses.
To quote a favorite movie of mine, The First Wives Club, 'Suddenly I'm boring because I don't want to roller blade'
At this moment, I have no trust in him whatsoever other than to provide more hurt to me, our kids, the grands, basically everyone he touches.
To the best of my knowledge, he suffered no childhood trauma, just the trauma suffered in Iraq. Help is out there. He has no excuse for not getting it. He is just far to prideful and narcisistic to accept help.
Love to me means two people who have been together for 50 years and still look into each other's eyes as if it was their first date. Love means being able to sit in companiable silence without a hint of boredom, love means being able to finish each others thoughts and sentences. To be thinking the same thing at the same time, you're so in tune to each other. Above all, love means trust, that you can put your life into this person's hands and his into yours, and know you will both be safe. Nothing gets through me to you and vice versa.
I'm standing because I think that was what I had with my H.
Yes. And I think we had it, too. Sometimes I wonder if our MLC Hs are running, in part, from that kind of intimacy, if such closeness scares them.
M 65 H 64 T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08 Two Ds
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
Love to me means two people who have been together for 50 years and still look into each other's eyes as if it was their first date. Love means being able to sit in companiable silence without a hint of boredom, love means being able to finish each others thoughts and sentences. To be thinking the same thing at the same time, you're so in tune to each other. Above all, love means trust, that you can put your life into this person's hands and his into yours, and know you will both be safe. Nothing gets through me to you and vice versa.
Wow Punkin, you should write romance novels. This is simply beautiful.
But it is also a load of crap. It would be wonderful if people really really had that kind of relationships.
Originally Posted By: Punkin
I'm standing because I think that was what I had with my H.
This is a surprise to me.
Almost every single thing you post about him or your situation is some sort of negative. And then you say you are not angry.
Punkin, I do believe you are angry. Very very angry.
I also believe that you are not simply angry with your H, you are angry with yourself. For enduring, yet another affair. You came through the mini crisis and now here you are again.
How fair is that. This ba’tard put you through it once already, and now he is doing it again and you are still standing.
Punkin, I see you heading down a road. To a new town. Bittersville, population: one.
Is this really where you want to be?
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
Love to me means two people who have been together for 50 years and still look into each other's eyes as if it was their first date. Love means being able to sit in companiable silence without a hint of boredom, love means being able to finish each others thoughts and sentences. To be thinking the same thing at the same time, you're so in tune to each other. Above all, love means trust, that you can put your life into this person's hands and his into yours, and know you will both be safe. Nothing gets through me to you and vice versa.
Wow Punkin, you should write romance novels. This is simply beautiful.
But it is also a load of crap. It would be wonderful if people really really had that kind of relationships.
I agree. This is the injustice done by fairytales and Hollywood. I've met/known my fair share of "happily" married couples celebrating well over the 30 or so year mark ... and when you start asking questions you find out that love is not about mind reading and perfection. It's about forgiveness, patience, support, quality time, commitment and respect, to name but a few. It's about being happy instead of being right and having each others backs. Among other things.
Cat asks you a good question....
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
