H pushing Divorce

[ericmsant2]

BM

"unstuck"....that is a good question and one that really I do not have an answer for.

I think the key is to just move through the process. In short, just "be". Allow yourself the feeling that you have. Allow yourself time to grieve.

I think you will know if you become "stuck" and all I think (these are just my opinions) you can do is recognize it, analyze it and then try to keep moving.

I believe at some point you just get to a place where everything becomes clear, where you know really who you are and no one, including myself will need to validate, confirm or direct you. You will...

Just know.

For now, sit still and try to enjoy what you do have. Do not drive yourself mad trying to "figure it out"...sometime we need to let God do his work..our job is just to be open.

God Bless,
Eric

[beastiemanager]

BM

"unstuck"....that is a good question and one that really I do not have an answer for.

I think the key is to just move through the process. In short, just "be". Allow yourself the feeling that you have. Allow yourself time to grieve.

I think you will know if you become "stuck" and all I think (these are just my opinions) you can do is recognize it, analyze it and then try to keep moviing

Okay, I gotcha. That is where I have the most trouble, in just "being." I have this feeling like... somebody said they would pick me up and give me a ride...and I have been waiting for 2 years for them to show up! So I am sitting here with my coat and purse, waiting for them to arrive. For awhile I sat in the window,watching. Then I moved into doing something while I wait, but kept an ear and eye, always to the driveway. Now I just do things. I don't watch anymore or listen. I feel as though my ride forgot me, but I am ready if they show up. If I still want to go.

So maybe "just being," will be in this place I am in. My D25 said to think of it like I am on vacation, the kind where I can do whatever I want, it is about me and for me. So maybe I am slowly moving inch by inch forward.

Thanks- Beastie

[courageous wife]

Okay, That is where I have the most trouble, in just "being." I have this feeling like... somebody said they would pick me up and give me a ride...and I have been waiting for 2 years for them to show up! So I am sitting here with my coat and purse, waiting for them to arrive. For awhile I sat in the window,watching. Then I moved into doing something while I wait, but kept an ear and eye, always to the driveway. Now I just do things. I don't watch anymore or listen. I feel as though my ride forgot me, but I am ready if they show up. If I still want to go.

That is a good way to describe it! I also like the vacation where you can do anything you want!

Have a great weekend!

[beastiemanager]

Thanks Courageous!

You have a great weekend also. I like your name btw. It really sums it up!

Beastie

[ericmsant2]

BM

Sounds like you are in a good place.

Ya know someone once told me that 'doing nothing is actually doing something"

So although you are "just being"...you really are doing something.

God Bless,
Eric

[beastiemanager]

Thanks Eric.

BM

Sounds like you are in a good place.

Ya know someone once told me that 'doing nothing is actually doing something"

So although you are "just being"...you really are doing something.

I totally understand this saying!

I have heard this said somewhere else, only in a different way. Can't remember it though. I related to this well. As I was doing my daily readings a couple days ago, the reading was about waiting and what a most powerful tool it is. You may not be getting what you want in your life and it isn't going the way you want right now....But if you "wait" you will be able to have those things in your life when it is time for them to be there. Sort of similar I thought.

Thanks- Beastie

[beastiemanager]

Hi Everyone.
I have a question on issue.

Was my youngest daughters birthday today, she is 22. H sent her a text this morining say happy, happy birthday Jess-jess (not her name, just example)he never calls her this. I do and her sister does. Then he said for her to have a great day and Luv ya.
Also took a picture of himself with a goofy smile and sent it to her. She didn't even recognize him. She said he looks like crap.

My daughter says that it is BS. She said he is trying to suck up. I was wondering if WS's cake-eat with other family members as well as the spouse?

I am in a down mood. OW is likely living with H. Trying to shake this dang feeling like I have to compete with that "Ya-bo." I feel like H is hooked into her for good as she keeps feeding his ego. She does this well. I am trying hard to detach and not react to this.

I did have a nice day celebrating my daughters birthday.Both daughters and I went to coffee, shopping at thrift store for Halloween stuff, supper out, then browsing at bookstore. It was a lovely day. I am very THANKFUL for them in my life.

[fisherman]

My daughter says that it is BS. She said he is trying to suck up. I was wondering if WS's cake-eat with other family members as well as the spouse?

I don't know if this would be considered cake eating. He loves his daughter. Not too many of us here can accurately describe how a mlc'er actually feels. Furthest thing from good.

This sounds more to me like him wishing her a happy birthday with all he can offer up right now. You can bet he feels guilt like no other among many other things.

I am in a down mood. OW is likely living with H. Trying to shake this dang feeling like I have to compete with that "Ya-bo." I feel like H is hooked into her for good as she keeps feeding his ego. She does this well. I am trying hard to detach and not react to this.

I can see why.

For good? Are you sure?

See this for what it is, and it's definitely not a real relationship.

did have a nice day celebrating my daughters birthday.Both daughters and I went to coffee, shopping at thrift store for Halloween stuff, supper out, then browsing at bookstore. It was a lovely day. I am very THANKFUL for them in my life.

Focus and perspective. This view doesn't sound down at all. Choose to see the good.

[fisherman]

I'm sorry you're feeling down at the moment. You'll get through this.

Anything planned for the weekend?

[ericmsant2]

BM,

I am in a down mood.

I am sorry that YOU feel this way. What things do you like to do? Maybe try doing something to take your mind off of all of this chit.

OW is likely living with H.

Are you sure?

If not, then try not to let your mind wander.

Trying to shake this dang feeling like I have to compete with that "Ya-bo."

Then I suggest that you do something to make yourself happy. Read a good book, go for a walk, anything to keep your mind off of this.

I feel like H is hooked into her for good as she keeps feeding his ego.

Once again you do not know this for sure. Stop trying to figure out what he is thinking, what is going on. Focus on you right now.

She does this well.

How do you know? I mean really BM, he could be breaking up with her right now…you just don’t know.

I am trying hard to detach and not react to this.

God, I know how hard it is. The only thing that worked for me was trying to get out of the house and do something.

You can do this!

God Bless,
Eric