K, If these are the complaints coming from him, it sounds like he doesn't know what he wants and is making excuses for his bad behavior. Get him a blow up doll and let him complain to her for a while.
If you have changes that you want to make, make them for you, not for him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
