Good info. (I thought I wasn't going to get to it until later but had a little time.)
I was aware of this psychological concept of pursuing/distancing. It's a big part of Dobson's theories which I've read countless times, and also covered on our New Beginnings weekend.
I have been pretty good about not pursuing for the most part. I had not taken it so far as not doing his laundry or cooking for him, but I do not contact him at work at all and I leave him alone at home. If I do text/email/call him, it is specifically about the kids. I've been doing things with friends but most of that happens during the day, not when he's home at night. My friends are - good for them - with their spouses/families at night/weekends. I concentrate on my school work. He does know that I have read/researched a lot on marriage improvement, but I do not do it around him and do not mention it to him.
I have not gone dark, esp. living in the same home, but I'd say somewhat dim. The only thing we've done together the last few months involve things for the children.
