Another bit of different behavior from my W this weekend.
After saying that she made the comment to the mediator that I am no longer the person she wanted to divorce, this past Saturday I wake up carring my son downstairs into the kitchen. She says "Good Morning" (to my son) and I say to the kids, "Hey, boys, do you know what we're going to do today?"
My W looks at me with a surprised look on her face and says, "What? What? What do you want to do?" I said, "We're going to go pick pumpkins!" Then she says, "I have a 10:15am appointment." I almost hit the ceiling. "What?!! What do you mean you have an appointment?!!" I was really upset that once again she goes and makes plans without even talking to me and just assumes I will watch the kids.
I poured some coffee and stood there fuming, waiting for the anger to cease. She knew I was pissed. She went upstairs to the bathroom and so I started playing with the kids. When she returned she immediately said, "My appt. is only 30 min long. The guy who does my eyebrows is leaving until November so I jumped in and made an appt. before he leaves. I figured you would be on a walk with the kids. We can go pumpkin picking tomorrow. She got real nice because she knew she blindsided me and I was upset. I didn't push back and went along with the plan, but she still could tell I was bothered by the way it all went down. Then she started talking about a house for sale down the block and wondering how much it was selling for -- this from a woman who about 5 months ago tried to buy a house w/o telling me. Very strange change of attitude.
I told my T that I think the mediation session/consult affected my W in the following ways: - She heard me say I don't want to divorce and that I love her and was only doing this for her happiness. - She, like me, was probably overwhelmed by the amount of detail and discussion required to reach a happy parenting agreement. It doesn't sound like fun at all. - She hasn't mentioned mediation since last week. - She heard me say, "I don't look forward to a life of drop offs and pickups and schedules. When does life become about living?" - She heard HERSELF tell the mediator that we DID NOT go to marriage counceling. - It was an active step towards REALITY and that was scary. She seems confused as ever.
