Looking for help with WAW - 2

[mza8]

Steve, I didn't mean for it to sound codependent. I was trying to convey that I will become a better man. I know it needs to be for me and not for someone else. I just wanted to say that I look forward to becoming this better man and some woman will get the benefits...whether it's my W or another woman. I thought this was an important step in moving forward for me.

My W is correct that her and I are in two different places. I do hear her and understand her. Clearly she has major trust issues with me and does not want to open herself up to me to be hurt again. I'll be honest, I have no clue how to overcome this with her. I thought I knew and tried to be an honest person with her to have her think about regaining her trust in me. I now know that I can't force her to see anything. All I can do is live my life with integrity and if she chooses to see it and believe it then so be it.

I'm really not sure if there is any way back for my W at this point. Her trust and hurt issues might be too much now. I don't know. I have learned to let go. More specifically I have learned to let go of the outcome. Anything and everything I have tried has not worked. It took me a ong time to actually know what it means to stop doing what doesn't work. I listened to those words but it didn't sink in until recently. I'm not wasting more time doing things that don't work. The time has come for me to be happy...with or without her. I will always believe that this M could have/still can work out and be great. Right now that decision has to come from her. In the meantime I'm taking my time to think about the next steps in my life and what I want. It's been years since I asked myself what I want. I have to say that I like the possibilities. I'm ready to explore new adventures in life. It's time for me to see what is out there for me.