IR, Oct. 19 is the next meeting between the Ls. I hope to know more then. Until then, no reason to stress.

DF, thanks. When I was talking to my friend this weekend I was amazed at how well he and the ex are getting along.

The big, big, big difference between him and I is that they went through counseling for three years. They really tried to save the M. STBXW went to one session.

My IC told me I've been hostage for six years. STBXW first brought up D in 2004. So for six years I've had this anvil over my head that if I didn't do what she wanted then she would D me.

She's also had this power for six years -- knowing if she didn't like something I was or wasn't doing then she could trot out the D threat.

Now, the threat is no longer there. I do not want to be controlled in how and when I communicate with her. I have a choice and right now I guess I'm choosing to be difficult.

I don't think it's hurting the girls because there have been no fights or arguments between us in front of the girls since she filed for D in February. That stuff does long-term damage.

It won't be this way forever.


Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11
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