WAW EA told her to leave

[DangerDave]

Well hello all -

Still here, crazy and confused but still forging ahead with my life. For those that made the "cut" I'm glad to see you still here and helping, Robx, Coach, Gucci, Greek - for those that have not, PDT, Allen, I will miss your valuable insight and 2x4's that have helped me as well - it's a long and twisted path we are all undertaking and there is no one road map that shows every on-ramp and exit to take - I am sure though that without the co-pilot's I would miss every turn!

So an update to my sitch - I found out the other day that my W crossed the no-contact boundary with the former EA/OM - it was at the gym where she attended another of his classes and it was not the first time over the last couple of months either. I would have marked it up as no big deal it's just an exercise class and it could happen on occasion but the fact she had been lying to me about it over this time really set me off. I told her that this would not be tolerated and told her to start sleeping in the spare room, moved all her toiletries out of MY room and she has been there for the last few days. Upon that discovery I also found copies of my pay stubs she has made and she has also hid all her wedding rings. I told here we would be talking next week about our relationship.

I have since taken off my ring and added them to her's (yes I found them) and she has moved most of her clothes to the spare room as well. She asked about a family outing we have this weekend to visit our daughter, if she needed to find separate transportation to get there - I told her no, that the family would all go together as I don't want to stress out the younger kids all at once.

Now to my subject - it's been 6 long months, no longer for me than anyone else here I know and I've had enough of this state of flux called limbo. I've been having a great time and GAL'n my butt off (literally lost 50lbs and looking good), always upbeat and a good mood day to day, having a blast with my kids, got into some new activities (cycling) and also started up some old ones (dirt biking with the kids). I go out with new friends (men and women ;)and old, helping others and enjoying their company and they enjoy mine as well.

I even have this inside joke where I there is a fairly large amount of friends I have that I have not seen much or at all during this time - so I have been dropping in on them and saying hello, sorry I haven't been around much - the joke part is that I have had to tell almost every one of them who I am - I have changed that much - it's truly astonishing! I truly love what I've become - it's nothing new, it's just the me I lost so many many years ago - it's good to "be home"!!

I have done a good job at detaching and I know I need to officially drop the rope. She has still confirmed her desire about wanting a divorce (last time was about a month ago) but the escape clause of finances is stalling the process in her mind. So where to from here, I am of the mindset that financially there will never be a "good" time to proceed with D, it's going to be bad regardless of when, so why not just get it started. I want to give her a choice to either start working on our relationship as husband and wife or start the D proceedings, whichever she choose's would start immediately. But I also wonder if a choice is really something to offer or not - and just go forward with filing for a D, it is what she wants and honestly I have a life I want to live without the encumbrances of all this *&llshit - I am done.

So out to the vets and experts here - I really hope to hear your viewpoints and suggestions - I've made mistakes in the past and really want to nail this one correctly the first time!

Thanks,

DD