I would try it before and when she didn't instantly calm down or change her mind and agree with me, I would get upset. "Fine, I tried looking at it from your point of view, but you still don't care. I don't know why I even try. You obviously aren't being rational right now. We'll finish this later." Then I would walk off thinking about how good of a job I had done and was so proud and full of myself. And I wondered why I seemed to be stuck in neutral.
I have to accept her feelings as they are at the moment. I can't ever get defensive. I have to remain calm and confident even in the face of what seems to be the certain end of our M. This has been going on for over a year. I have a lot of catching up to do. I am finally starting to understand why things work and why they don't. It does take a lot of self discipline.
