XH is marrying OW after only 5 months of D!!

[soleil]

My exH is getting married on April Fools Day this upcoming year. It is appropriate because their M is a big fat joke.

I know this wasn't meant to be funny but I almost fell out reading it!

Lea, sorry to hear of this wedding news but you know what--she gets to marry a man who cheated on his wife. That's lame. Just keep your head up and keep on with the keep on

[lea74]

I thought it was funny too - honestly did they not think of that!!

Yeah, you are right. On the day they get married (if it ever happens) how will everyone feel, especially his parents. This will not be a joyous occassion for them. And for my sons, well they will not be exactly jumping for joy.

This is just such a bad example of the value of marriage and vows to my sons.

Interestly neither one of them have told me - I have heard via my sons. I eould have thought that she would be rubbing my nose in it and he would have send an email by now!!

[lea74]

Sorry, just changed forum heading to: only after 4 months, as realised that it hasnt even been 5 months yet!!

[lea74]

Thanks, I totally agree. Not being there for my kids whilst they have to witness it all is going to be torture for me.

Funny about the jewellery thing - my XH bought a huge diamond in south africa (where we are from) - I saw in on the credit card statement that he had to submit. Funny though he bought it in January - 5 months before we were divorced.

It all makes me so sick - that he has been lying to me for so long and all the while he told me to have faith for us.

[lea74]

I had a really long chat with a friend of mine today. She is a counsellor as well do her input is always welcome.

She made me see my situation from a reverse point of view and rather see some positive aspects rather then negative.

One of the things she pointed out was how evident it is that the OW is in control of their relationship. It has certainly given me a new preception of their relationship and the fact that it really cant last.

The only thing I can do right now is somehow work on co-parenting with XH for the sake of my sons. It is not fair for them to be caught between two angry parents. I need to take control and lead the co-parenting relationship because he certainly wont be.

[pollyanna]

Hi - i have not read your story but your topic heading caught my eye... so I dont know if I am out of place here but my heart goes out to you !

I will read your story .

[lea74]

So decided to step up and start to be a co-parent. I sent XH an email about sons' school progress. Wasnt sure what to expect from him. Anyway one or two productive emails later and then the last one that says:
'we will monitor it from this side and let you know'

I find this so disrespectful - it is not a WE. She (OW) is not a parent and therefore she has no input. XH and I are the parents - full stop!! I really wish he would stop throwing it in my face!! I get it you are with her, now stop. I can just imagine when they are married she is going to throw the step-mom thing in as well. AHHH!!

[lea74]

Thanks, I have a couple of threads. I started in newcomers under he is about to leave, now what and then in surviving the big d under D Day has arrived.

[smith18]

It will get better with time Lea. My XW got married to OM a year after the divorce. Dont try to concern yourself with thoughts about whether their marriage will survive of not. You have more to live for.

Nothing beats Fig's ring story...

here is my ring story (and yes...it was even funny at the time...more so now)

So, my sociopathic 2nd ex-husband (because I do marriage well..eyeroll) gave me a cheapish little ring for an engagement ring...

I am not a real jewelry wearer and expensive things make me nervous...even so, it was pretty, I thought but semi-fake (well...very fake)

anyway

when it was revealed that he had a torrid affair with the then youngster (like 18ish young)I took my engagement ring and wedding ring off and set it by the bed

he came over at some point and took the engagement ring and GAVE IT TO THE YOUNGSTER!!!!

she ran into me and flashed her fake ring that was my fake ring and said

look what your husband gave me? it was yours but it's mine now

or something to that affect....

little did she know that it was a fake ring and turned my finger green...she was welcome to it

long may it turn her finger green!!!!!!

[bright_new_day]

My X got married a whopping 2 weeks after our divorce was final. Not engaged 2 weeks later, but married...to the woman he swore was just a friend, right up until our divorce was final. You'll survive it. At least he waited a little while and told your kids in advance. It's not great, but you have no control over it, so you will adapt.