Happy Thanksgiving, Being Me! Yesterday we went to my parents for Thanksgiving dinner, parents had invited wife so I told her I'd pick her and the kids up and we'd take one car. When I arrived wife and D16 were going at it, well actually, wife was going at it. Apparently earlier in the day wife had volunteered to drive D and bf to the mall, although they said they'd walk. Later she started carrying on about all the things she had to do and when I arrived she started on how she has to drive the kids all over blah blah blah. So daughter said "if you're going to volunteer then don't complain about it, otherwise don't volunteer!" I decided to wait in the car. After dinner we dropped wife off, picked up the kids things and headed to my place. D16 says "Daddy, is Mommy bi-polar?" I asked why she thought that and D said "because sometimes she can be so nice and fun to be with and then she just becomes another person (D13 agreed). She told me when she's like that the best thing I can do is stay away from her because she can't help herself" Incredible! It's the kids job to monitor their mothers mood and stay away so that she doesn't verbally lash out at them, she can't control it! Wow, not much has changed in the three years we've been separated. She still takes no responsibility for her own behaviour. It's up to the kids to read her and take the appropriate action. Sounds familiar! Anyway, I told D's "your mother is not bi-polar, she's a lady who takes on way too much in life and refuses to let anything go. Then she gets worn out and becomes very difficult to live with" Daughter said "Well, I still stand by what I said to her this afternoon even though she doesn't like it" and I said "I agree with you, if she's going to offer to do something then she shouldn't be complaining about it." One of the big reasons our marriage ended was because wife took on way too much, was exhausted and therefore expected way too much emotionally from me because of it. I was supposed to know her every feeling, what she needed at every moment etc. She's still living her life the same way. She has a demanding job, takes school courses, takes Yoga and dance classes weekly and tries to be Supermom. When the kids don't fall all over her in gratitude for everything she does or recognize what she needs, she gets pissed. Oh well, that's her trip and at least the kids seem to handle it well.
