Thanks for checking in again, FM! I know you aren't around much anymore and I do appreciate the time you have given me over the months.
Journaling -
Had a great weekend with the kids. W worked at her bar job that is about 70 miles away. She left both days this weekend at 9:30am and got home after midnight. Before she left on Sat. she said, "I know you don't like me working here, but we could use the money for taxes, etc." I just said we have been through this before, it's her choice and she can do whatever she wants.
The kids and I just messed around the house all day Sat. Sun. we went to church, out to eat, watched a little football, went outside and played catch, rode the 4-wheeler, made a fire and roasted hot dogs and marshmallow's, played hide-and-seek and just had a great time together.
W texted me a few times on Sat and Sun saying nothing really important. I didn't txt back. Each time after about an hour she would txt, "did u get my msg?" I let those go, too. After another hour or so, I txt back something like, "yes, got msg. was on 4-wheeler,(or in the woods, or whatever) cya." Before, she would NEVER txt or call after I did.
This morning, she was getting ready for work, I was already dressed, she was very pissy. I went outside and had some coffee and enjoyed the fall weather. The kids were still asleep. I came in and she was at the table eating and S4 woke up and came running to me. W got up from the table and told him to come give her a hug, she missed him. He scrambled down and came back over to me. I asked him if her slept good and what her wanted for breakfast. He asked why I had my work clothes on. I said I had to go to work today. He started crying and said he didn't have school and thought I was going to stay home today. W came over and said that mom and dad both had to work today but grandma was going to watch the kids. He threw his arms around me and started crying. "I want you to stay with me, again, daddy." You could see W get mad. She had seen them a whole 1/2 an hour all weekend and didn't like it that he didn't seem to miss her at all. I told him to give mom a hug and kiss and he did, but came right back to me. The other kids got up and were basically the same; came and gave me a hug and just told her, "Hi." She got her stuff together and left for work, told the kids good-bye and said nothing to me.
I am not doing anything to turn them against her. She is doing it herself. I guess it's one more thing that she's blind to.
All in all, a great weekend. I wish she would wake up and see what she's doing to our family. I keep holding the line and call her on her behavior and love my kids the best I know how.
Still trying to let completely go. It's a whole lot easier when she's not around.
