Please help ASAP

[saffie]

blgp,

My H's father had at least one A if not more and he came clean about it all just as my H turned 21. It caused his parents to D; which his father now strongly regrets.

My H had his A with one of his staff. He is CEO of his Co and he told everyone at the company what was going on as gossip was disrupting work. I was in the dark - I went to business events where the staff acted as though nothing was happening. (Imagine how comfortable I feel going to business events now :/).

What OW did was make my H feel that he had someone to go to. Someone who would listen to him and pay him attention. In actual fact though, she didn't have the 'connection' in the end that he and I had. She wasn't as intelligent as I am and couldn't make him laugh like I can when on my best form.

When my H saw that I was changing, and was trying my best to be who our M needed me to be, he suddenly did an about turn. I did it without knowing he was having an A; I just knew the M wasn't in a good place and so I went to see a T to see how I could improve things by altering my behaviour. My H had warned me with some comments he had made in the past that things weren't right, ( which I had just taken as bluster and him letting off steam). H told me about the A when he could see the changes I was making. At the same time OW was putting pressure on H to commit to her. H actually gave me OW's phone number and her H's phone number, (they were living separately by then), and basically he wanted me to clear up the mess he had gotten himself into - he didn't know how to sort it out. He didn't want to be seen as the bad guy by either side. Of course he was the bad guy because he had cheated and eventually after we had cleared things up he had to face that.

For me though, as the A had been going on for 18 months, the initial attraction and excitement had dissipated for my H, which helped enormously. Also he suddenly saw the magnitude of what it would all mean. OW had made things easy for him until it all became real and H 'saw the light of day'.

You have been getting some good advice on this thread. IMO for the moment you should just wait and see what happens with your H and concentrate on yourself. People at work will guess and it will reflect badly on your H and OW; my gut tells me that the further you stay away from that the better - take the high road. Although my H told his staff, they didn't like it and were relieved when it ended. We were in the position where we were able to get OW away from the company and out of our lives completely.

I hope today goes ok for you.