How should I handle MLC direct lying?

[amg2]

Obviously you've both given me a lot to think about and I appreciate the time you've taken. I wish I could secure the house to me alone w/o filing for D, so I could just have/continue to have peaceful time to focus on me and think. But the lawyer says only way to sign house over is to file.

I really have/am working on myself. IC since before D day. I love reading self help books and doing my "inner work". OK I don't love all of the work but I embrace it. I truly have had a whole new awakening for MYSELF. This is work in progress I know, but the changes have already been significant. I've always been religious and that helps me immensely too.

Forgiveness...honestly I'm not sure I'll ever forgive H for choosing the stupid things over the great things we had. It's a travesty really. We really did have a lot of special ties, though all of that seems to have evaporated (for me anyway) now. I don't think I'll ever be ok with him "deciding" that these petty, meaningless things were worth losing our M. I know I'll grow in this regard over time (I hope). And I know I need to be more aware of the "crisis" part of the words MLC. But it's hard. And he's in sooooooo deep. He has even jeopardized his job with his 'activities'...and as I mentioned he's a workaholic who told me he has nothing to live for but his job so that describes the severity.

We exchanged a few texts and I said I'd let him know if/when i legally needed the list. He texted back that he thought I was talking to a lawyer and needed it. We don't communicate well...nothing new. But it seems like we've agreed I don't need a list and that I'm only talking business w him now b/c he is still behaving inappropriately as a husband, and because I won't be in an unhealthy situation. I did also point out that my NC shouldn't be used as an excuse for him to continue to avoid...tht I'm happy to talk business as needed. So for what it's worth that's how this round ended. I don't think either of us knows what we want really.

Thank you again. Very much. Including the laughs as I can use them