Now I'm Walking Away Part 2

[pinhead]

PS - Did you also re-read Pookie's post on page 11 - the last post on that page? I thought that was particularly insightful.

Which thread?

[FindingMyVoice]

Here it is... it was this thread. I thought this was just spot on. Sorry i don't know how to do the quotey things when it's just a cut and copy.

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Originally Posted By: pinhead
Sounds suspiciously like pursuing. And everyone knows that I'm an expert on that.

Originally Posted By: pookie
I think you are past the "no pursuing" phase. You are on "leading" phase. I think there is a difference.

You will give her the option to follow you and be ready for the case she won't.

Then try something else. Find that attraction button.

She shows signs that she wants to find it too.

She ML to you, but thinks that kissing is too intimate.

What does it takes to change that and add intimacy she seeks?

I think it was Coach who said that it's like the dog who has been chasing a squirrel, finally caught it and now does not know what to do with it.

[Coach]

Pin, I think Retro is a good idea for you both. Keep leading.


Cheers

[pookie69]

I found that even when my H and I started becoming more intimate (emotionally and physically) I started throwing up walls. And I was the one asking for more intimacy!

Hey, what do you think of that...? Now that she's coming around, you're wanting to run...do you think that might be just your reaction to the changes? When you've had an emotionally distant marriage, becoming more intimate can be really stressful you know. That emotional distance in some ways keeps BOTH parties safe. We didn't have to deal with conflict. We could just withdraw. And now that we're having to deal with stuff... well, it's stressful. It can make us want to run. IDK. Just one of my 'theories'.. feel free to take it or leave it!

This is an excellent point from a woman's perspective. I am exactly at that point myself.

W and I are getting along great, but the intimacy has not gotten further from little massages on the couch.

I wonder exactly that - is ML the final acceptance for her that there is going to be a next chapter in our R and the fear of opening that door is holding her back?

Quite plausable.

I have to figure out how to sneak through the cracked opening (no pun intended)

[Coach]

Pin, Make it a goal to have your wife give you a passionate kiss.

[Coach]

I have to figure out how to sneak through the cracked opening

Don't sneak, be invited.



Less chance of the cops being called that way.

[pookie69]

I have to figure out how to sneak through the cracked opening

Don't sneak, be invited.



Less chance of the cops being called that way.

I'll make it a goal. (like "score")

[pinhead]

Pin, Make it a goal to have your wife give you a passionate kiss.

This is my main goal. Everything after this will be icing...

[Lotus]

or chocolate syrup.

[pookie69]

or chocolate syrup.

I am still laughing about that one. There are so many possibilities. My eye sight is blurred by all the visuals.

What's been seen cannot be unseen.'




Roast beef sandwich with lettuce, tomato and .... chocolate syrup. Yummm...