Being a guy, I can't understand how kissing can be more intimate than sex, but, like I said, I'm a guy.
Well, I'd question that too. IDK, I'm gathering from some of your discussions with pookie that she hadn't always felt that? If she hasn't, do you think it's her way of setting a little boundary, because she (like you) is not quite feeling 'emotionally safe' yet?
I found that even when my H and I started becoming more intimate (emotionally and physically) I started throwing up walls. And I was the one asking for more intimacy!
Hey, what do you think of that...? Now that she's coming around, you're wanting to run...do you think that might be just your reaction to the changes? When you've had an emotionally distant marriage, becoming more intimate can be really stressful you know. That emotional distance in some ways keeps BOTH parties safe. We didn't have to deal with conflict. We could just withdraw. And now that we're having to deal with stuff... well, it's stressful. It can make us want to run. IDK. Just one of my 'theories'.. feel free to take it or leave it!
Originally Posted By: pinhead
I want to make sure the choice I make is for the right reasons, and not from being hurt, angry or fatigued.
Good for you Pinhead. That's a very responsible way to make a decision like this. PS - Did you also re-read Pookie's post on page 11 - the last post on that page? I thought that was particularly insightful.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
