It is very difficult to go dark, especially if you think there is OM. But do you communicate at all b/c of the kids? If so, stick just to the issue she wants to communicate about. And keep it short.
I know it is an uphill battle when others, (family members, counselors, attorneys, etc.) are the only ones advising W and no one is encouraging her to work things out. But now is the time to be strong and confident in yourself - I know easier said than done. But she won't be attracted to you if you're not.
