Given the recent events between the two of you - the fact that he felt the need to applogize is a good thing. Look at the positives in your sitch as best you can. Often we focus on the negative. We focus on what WE need, which is okay BUT sometime we need to consider how some else feels. That IMO, is the key to a healthy R. Balance.
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I must say I get confused by my H's words/actions....he talks about the future some, about things around the house, like he is staying, but his actions show me that he doesnt want to be there, that he really doesnt even like me.
How do you know he doesn't even like YOU? And hey, the bigger question is do YOU like YOU?
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I agree, him apologizing was a good thing. I tried to look at that as a positive thing.
I really dont think he does like me too much. I guess thats because all I ever hear is him complaining about everything I do not being right, and after a while it gets me thinking that maybe he doesnt like me.... BUT I do like myself. I just try hard not to let all his negative comments affect me.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I guess thats because all I ever hear is him complaining about everything I do not being right
Can you share some example of his complaints?
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Well, I dont wear enough make up, my hair isnt curly enough, I dont dress up enough for him. Supper isnt done fast enough. Sex isnt good enough, I dont make enough money or I dont have enough to carry him over. I could go on and on.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Are any of these things that YOU would like to change for YOU?
Just asking.
Do YOU want to make more money?
Are you happy with the way you look?
Would you like dinner to be made sooner?
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
K, If these are the complaints coming from him, it sounds like he doesn't know what he wants and is making excuses for his bad behavior. Get him a blow up doll and let him complain to her for a while.
If you have changes that you want to make, make them for you, not for him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Kissak, You need to find a way to stop focusing on him and his Carousel of Crazy. {as best you can} He is nitpicking because he can. His mean spirit isn't anything new. Most of those complaints aren't even anything you can control and my guess is that even if you did change those things he would come up with 7 more to take their places.
You are wonderful. You are the same lady he came home to months ago. These are his issues, not yours.
Remember what I have always said to you: Live your life while doing no harm. You have built a lovely life for yourself and your kids over the past couple years. Sometimes people are just angry unhappy people and there is nothing we can to do fix that. They have to figure it out and want to fix it first for themselves and then for those that love them.
*hugs*, dear lady. ~ swl
Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
You know Kiss, if he has always been like that, and that's only something you can determine, that is borderline abusive.
If it is recent, it is BS, ignore it, dettach, you know all the tricks.
If it is long term as in who he is? It is STILL BS, but you maybe should re-evalute a why you believe this man should be in YOUR life, and what YOU get out of it.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Get him a blow up doll and let him complain to her for a while
I am cracking up!...I'm dying here....
Sorry for the hijack Kissak.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
