How should I handle MLC direct lying?

[amg2]

If you feel you must reply, you can simply tell him that you will discuss a division of property when it becomes legally necessary. Don't help him.

Good point. I might use that. Thank you.

Amg


Have you forgiven him?

If not, then IS YOUR FORGIVENESS contingent on him “owning up to” his issues?

Did you make any mistakes in YOUR M?

You seem to not be sure that you even want to deal with your H right now. You say you do not want a D yet you feel so much at peace with out him.

My question….

Have you found a “friend”?

Finally, you can feel free to tell me to fu*k myself…

Ha no need on the last part. Made me laugh. I appreciate help or I wouldn't be here. No I haven't forgiven him. And yes I definitely contributed negatively to our M. Here's the thing: He hasn't asked for forgiveness. I kicked him out on D day and of course it was stressful w crying, illness, weight loss, a total disaster. But in 8 months...8!...has has not said "I want a D", "Will you fogive me?", "I want to move home", "I'll go to counseling". Nothing. He obviously wanted to cake eat, go to dinner every week or two, text at his convenience. I do suspect there is still something w an OP but I have no proof (didn't look for any) and could be wrong. Before D Day (this one) I started learning about reactivity and realized I was reactive...I own that and have been very up front about that with him during the last 8 months. I'm in and have been in IC.

All while he sits in his rented condo, not being D, not being M, probably injecting steroids, being the workaholic he's always been (at my expense), and I'm not sure what else because I'm NC and he's shut himself off quite a bit from his family and our friends.

I don't have a "friend" though as I've said here it's crossed my mind. I'll be honest and say I don't feel married though. I realize the seriousness of that...but it's true.

Maybe now is a good time for me to ask: a lot of people here at standing for their M. Should someone in my sitch be standing? He has one cell EA 7 years ago. I found semi nude pictures of him and a girl he picked up in a bar one night on our camera 5 years ago. 8 months ago I discovered that he had given his cell number to someone he met through work and they had he says an EA but it seems VERY unlikely it wasn't also a PA. AND to boot...he had an in depth texting EA with a minor. These last two are most recent D day. And since then have fully confirmed he was injecting illegal steroids. The problem is...he's not a player. He's not an egotistical jerk. He is ABSOLUTELY not the guy you would think would do this stuff. He's sick. He needs help. He hates himself. But he can't/won't see any of that b/c he thinks I made him do this stuff somehow.

I'm getting way off track here I guess. I am interested in feedback though about when: enough is enough. And are some people just NOT able to be dealt with b/c they won't look at themselves?

I'm still a bit unsure about whether to tell him to send the list of items he wants. I don't really want the list at this point...if I file for D I'll do it on my terms and don't really need his input. But I'm not financially secure (house) until I do file. What a mess.

Thank you all for your time and any opinions you might have.