INTERESTED IN MLC FOR LBS

[Bobby O]

Thanks Eric. I really need to work on me. I actually had more than a beer this weekend and felt better. Will see how things go. Bobby O

[Bobby O]

I found a book called Survive Your Wife's Midlife Crisis by Christine Carter Schaap. Her web site is www.surviveyourwifesmidlifecrisis.com. I downloaded this book afet paying for it. It ia written by a woman who actually went through it.All I can say is OH MY GOD!! Things are really making me understand what is said here. Bobby O

[ericmsant2]

Bobby

Once you understand what your W is going through it will help keep things in perspective. Some of the things that she will say and do (that are totally out of character) will still annoy or anger you BUT at least you will understand that a lot of this she does not even realize or comprehend.

Understanding MLC will breed compassion

Compassion will breed patiences

Patience will give you TIME

TIME...well anything my friend can happen in TIME.

Key, for YOU is HOW YOU use this time.

Eric

[warriorshadow]

Bobby,
I forgot about that book that you are mentioning.

I downloaded that about 1 month after BD.

I was blown away too. For many months I read that over and over.

It was so incredibly close to what was happening in my life.

Eric is right about the understanding breeding compassion.

One of the next challenges is to keep that in your head like a

reference tool when things start getting you angry. She will be

able to push your buttons and that is when you need to take a

step back and realize: "This is her crisis that is making her

this way"!! Then you know not to take the behavior personally.

Unfortunately, this behavior is not going to just go away

anytime soon. That is why the huge importance of detachment from

the drama. It takes practice to make perfect on this. But it is

also a gift to be able to do it on demand. You will come to

realize that you must be able to detach from the drama to

maintain your own sanity. I am tested every day with this as

long as my wife is at home. Without this knowledge, I would

never be where I am today regarding staying calm when being

baited for arguments, vented at with projection anger (spewing),

and understanding the total lack of compassion that comes from

your spouse throughout the crisis. WS

[LanceSijan]

I found a book called Survive Your Wife's Midlife Crisis by Christine Carter Schaap. Her web site is www.surviveyourwifesmidlifecrisis.com. I downloaded this book afet paying for it. It ia written by a woman who actually went through it.All I can say is OH MY GOD!! Things are really making me understand what is said here. Bobby O

Bobby I am glad that this book is helping you to understand what your wife is going through.

The only thing I will caution you about is the forum website that is accociated with this book has a lot of VERY angry men on it. They were too angry for me. They are very negative. In some cases I do not agree with the advice that they give.
So while Christine's book is very good. Be careful about the rest of her website.
The website is also unmoderated.
The views of the people posting do not follow what Christine advocates.

[Bobby O]

Thanks guys. I will only use this site but found the book very good. Bobby O

[MrBond]

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[Bobby O]

Thanks Mr Bond. Tomorrow is our sons welcome home party and he is going to ask his girlfriend of three years to marry him. I have been running around getting ready for this party with 50 people invited. It will feel funny with both of our families present and what is going on with my wife and me. This is Brian's day and will not worry about things not in my control. Will keep all updated. Bobby O

[sgctxok]

Hi Bobby,

Your thread is very large. Please start a new one.

Thanks,
sg

[seeking answers]

Bobby,

How did the welcome home party go for you?