Thanks everyone. Don't take me entirely for a fool. I am not blaming this on her. I very well know he left the door wide open for this. He hasn't told me anything about any of this. He doesn't know I know yet. I have read the e-mails and can watch the transition. She knows what she is doing... been there done that.
H and I are not talking about our relationship at all. He runs if it is discussed so I quit a several weeks back. He hasn't brought up D since but on Thursday had brought up refinancing the house to 'pay me'. Which is when I told him I still wanted to closure and to move on.
I am definitely in a better place myself. I realize I can live without him. I am a hundred times more healthy. I have a hell of a lot going for me. I don't want to give up on my M, but this person present right now is not my H and I don't want him. I know he is justifying all of this by saying he told me he wanted a divorce before getting physically involved with her. Plus we are separated (not legally).
I don't have plans to just expose them to everyone at work. But do wonder if I should hint that I know... or flat out tell him yet I am sure he will deny it. He isn't being honest with himself, he certainly isn't going to be honest with me.
Can I walk away? YES.
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
