you sound good. Sorry you didn't find abundant supplies of pro-m people. Most don't want to see a div happen, but they hesitate to judge another person's marriage or take sides. Most will feel it's inappropriate since they don't really know "all the facts" and saying someone had an affair will sound pretty one sided if that's all they get, and most troubled couples don't hand out much more info, soooo it is not easy for those "witnesses". I did see a male neighbor once with a "Guest" for lunch whom I knew the wife felt threatened by. He saw me see him. He approached me and boldly asked for marriage advice and I finally said, "I saw what I saw and won't lie to protect you so tell your w within 48 hours or I'll have to." He did. This was decades ago and she was a friend of mine. Would I do the same thing now? Probably but it would be much harder for me. NOt so black and white. There were no children, so maybe that's why it seemed clear to me then. And it is VERY easy for the LBSer to look vindictive if they're involving a 3rd party. They often are.
Here, NOW, What matters is you GAL, moving forward, and protecting your son, as you are. And as for checking yourself inwardly for motive, good for you. It's an insight many never gain or distinguish between. What's even tougher is knowing where that fine line is, between enabling bad behavior, or punishing a spouse, or allowing them to cake eat, or being a doormat, OR learning detachment. Those lines get very blurry.
Be careful and honest with yourself, and you'll have no regrets. If you made a mistake or make another, learn from it and let it go. You are human after all. I think it's huge that you and h have not had any angry words together. Treat him as politely as possible (NOT being a doormat, just polite and calm) and contrast those negative images he's using to justify leaving you, with the "warm fun you" who is MOVING ON AND GAL and whom he is probably losing. Don't fear that he'll think if he's lost you, that's he's off the hook or won't regret it. If anything, the first minute he thinks he's really losing you will be the first time he begins to second guess his choices. Let him. How else can he choose to wonder, let alone fight to get his life back
This is his 2nd m. Why'd his first m end? And how are the older kids dealing with you now? Hope they learn good life lessons from you (( hugs ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
