Finding My Way

[Lostinlife]

One thing that I am coming to realize is that as long as OW is in the picture H will likely remain in the fog. If I can just wait it out...

Same boat here, what a helpless feeling. It was all in a post I had that was deleted. Tough being replaced so easily. Funny part is, all I remember are good times, and things we would be doing.

[courageous wife]

as long as OW is in the picture H will likely remain in the fog. If I can just wait it out...

By George! I think you've got it!

[Mystik]

Lost ~ I know exactly what you mean.

CW ~ Having it doesn't always mean the road will be easy. I'm sure there will be stumbles and falls while I see this through to the end.

[Mystik]

Went through my bank statements today and highlighted the transactions for doctor appointments, car insurance and daycare. Now to do the math to see exactly how much he owes me so I can fill out the violation of support order. I am going to do have to do a couple different computations. How much the car insurance total is, the daycare total and the medical co-pays. Get those grand totals then deduct what he has paid me and go from there.

I did speak to the lawyer briefly today and he said if H thinks he paid me more than I claim in the petition he is responsible for proving it.

[courageous wife]

CW ~ Having it doesn't always mean the road will be easy. I'm sure there will be stumbles and falls while I see this through to the end.

Oh yeah...I didn't mean to imply it would be any easier!!!

[Mystik]

Just finished doing the bulk of the math for the violation of support order. H owes me $1,334. Wow. If he wants to settle the violations out of court then I'm willing to settle for $760. And this is not including the October car insurance payment I'll be making on Tuesday. So those numbers are going to go up by $90 each once I make that payment.

I am still nervous about making H mad when I file. I haven't filled out the forms yet. My sister and mom say I should just file, let him find out when he receives the summons and then tell him I'm willing to negotiate the violation petition and withdraw it if he pays me the amount I propose. But at the same time I'm thinking if I tell him I'm going to file and he can prevent it by paying the lower amount that will be less likely to anger him. I am not going to skip filing the visitation modification to prevent Whore from picking up DS and the support modification to get the daycare amount taken from his paycheck the same way the child support is. Those are two issues that I can't ignore.

[Mystik]

Been dreaming about H again. Last night I dreamt he was talking to his sister (she also had an affair but went back to her H). He was asking her how to go about ending the affair, then he came over to me and whispered that he loved me. A few nights ago I dreamt that he kissed me in two separate dreams.

Not sure if it's the meds or all the praying I've been doing but I'm feeling a bit more at peace now about H returning. I feel that it will happen and I just need to wait patiently. Well, I am not a patient person, so this will be a good learning experience. Right?

[Vulcanized]

I am still nervous about making H mad when I file. I haven't filled out the forms yet. My sister and mom say I should just file, let him find out when he receives the summons and then tell him I'm willing to negotiate the violation petition and withdraw it if he pays me the amount I propose. But at the same time I'm thinking if I tell him I'm going to file and he can prevent it by paying the lower amount that will be less likely to anger him. I am not going to skip filing the visitation modification to prevent Whore from picking up DS and the support modification to get the daycare amount taken from his paycheck the same way the child support is. Those are two issues that I can't ignore.

M, I just got home from work & had 2 cocktails, so slightly tipsy, but this stood out to me. I don't feel like you should be too concerned about angering H. H wasn't concerned all that much about angering you thru all this. That just jumped off the page at me.

I'll re-read & re-post in the morning. But I don't think you should be more concerned about H than you & DS. You said a few weeks ago that you were really stressed about $$$. This will only get worse next month when whore has kid. DS has to take precedence; tough darts about OW's kid.

[Mystik]

Very true, V, very true. I do need to ensure that DS is taken care of, he was here first.

So on another board I mentioned the petitions I'm filing. A poster told me to reconsider the visitation petition to prevent Whore from picking up DS because "This woman appears to be here to stay and anything you do to make things more difficult in taking care of DS will only adversely effect DS and he doesn't deserve to deal with anymore stress because his father is an asshat".

So fellow DBers, what do you think? This is one thing I feel I should stand firm on, that Whore has no place picking up my son from school.

[Mystik]

Broke down the figures this afternoon. H owes me $770 for expenses for DS and $563 for car insurance. After talking to DS's therapist today I think I'm going to go the less animosity route and e-mail him with the figures telling him he can pay the $840 and we'll call it even or I can pursue the money through family and divorce court. But I'm still not sure which way is best. File and he finds out when he gets the summons or let him know in advance.