when the A started or how long it has gone on does not change things. understand that if u expose at his job, there will be consequences, foreseen and unforeseen. he is the one engaged in illicitness however as the OW as well.
"she is the one doing most of the pursuing?" = bs. he told u that? he emailed her, no? he sent her a bday card? i know u would like to believe that it is all her but it takes two to tango. he was the one asking u for a D bc there she was, no?
he has not filed bc he is trying to cake eat. with A's there are 3 possible responses:
1. status quo. he has A, he strings u along, and he enjoys the best of both worlds. 2. tell ur H, fine OW can have u. c ya. easy to say, tough to follow thru. 3. ur H comes to his senses and renounces A. don't bet on it. maybe some of the other posters have seen this but i don't think this happens all too often. when WAS have A's they are in denial. they claim all sorts of bs, "I never loved u," "have not loved u in years," "we were too young when we married," "u have too much hair on your back and always have," blah, blah, blah. dont believe it. 100% of whatever he says is not bound to be true and will only serve to confuse u.
know that we are in the same boat except we are of the opposite sex and some of the details. be strong. u CAN do it.
