I just read up on your sitch and you are definitely in a tough place! It sucks.
From my own personal experience, I have one recommendation: don't give yourself or your husband a pass because you think he's "going through a depression."
I did that for awhile and it didn't help me at all. For me, waiting for my husband's depression to pass and/or for him to miss me basically ended up being wasted time - he was out having new experiences while I was just sitting around and waiting for him to come to his senses.
