Wife is cheating, am sad but confused?

[Truegritter]

Would it be considered pursuing if I were to be offering help all the time?

What is the purpose of offering her help?

So she will think you are kind?

So she will consider reconciling?

Detachment is when you try to remove yourself from the emotion and pain of your current situation.

Doing things for her and expecting outcomes will cause you pain.

a good guide in this is to ask yourself why you are doing something.

If it is attached to some outcome. Some expectation. probably not good for you.

You learn to do this by making mistakes. Just learn from them and do better.

Tactics are tactics and as you have found out she can sniff you out like a drug dog in the Miami airport.

Your changes have to be real. And to get to what you have to change you gotta stop focusing on her and look in the mirror.

Find what you don't like about yourself. And kill it.

Actions not words HIL.

You are still attached.

Detach. That is the first step.

Detaching doesn't mean you don't care. It might feel weird or counterintuitive.

You have to do it.