Blindsided

[saffie]

My H had an 18 month A when he felt neglected by me. It doesn't mean it's the end.

What do you know about OW? Is she married?

Read my thread on forgiveness in infidelity and Lotus' thread on Retrouvaille.

Exposure is a tricky one, but often it works best if OP is M'd and you can firstly go to their S. Whether you should expose or not is something only YOU can know, as only you walk in your shoes......and you live with the fallout. As you all work together it might be best to try and keep it all out of the work place, if possible, as it will split loyalties and embarrass folks. It might also put all your jobs in jeopardy.

Do you think OW pursued your H and took advantage of his state of mind? The fact that he looked 'rough' could well be to your advantage as it is probably a good sign he is in inner turmoil. Often when an A becomes public and real, and the practicalities of living with the A partner hit them, the cheating S recoils from what is happening. When that happens the OW can end up being your best 'help' in that their pursuing can drive your S away a bit. Often a lot is in luck and timing unfortunately.

Like you I had been seeing a T to help me improve myself and my H did notice- it was a major factor in saving my M.

Before you discovered about OW, your H seemed to be seeing your improvements and liking your 180's. I don't agree with the poster that said not to give your H gifts etc. If that is his LL ans if it is a 180 that works, then use it....although things have moved on a bit since that was under discussion.

How much do you WANT to be M'd to your H?