Well, you were all right. There is OW. I found the evidence in e-mail. EA in April. PA almost certainly as of this weekend. Now... what do I do? We ALL work together. It is the technician. Do I expose them? What the hell do I do???? I have to work tomorrow.
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
Secondly, I'm sorry to hear that. I know how tough it is and once again, conventional wisdom proves correct.
I'm not going to give you much in the way of advice as I'm still very new at this. However, DON'T expose them at work tomorrow. There is PLENTY of tme to do that if/when you decide to.
Wait for the old hands to chime in on tactics.
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
OK, thank you. I have made copies of the e-mails I found and while none of them incriminate them exactly, the intent is there. I made the copies thinking that I need to start protecting myself legally. What a moron for not changing his password... I'm sure the real proof lies in the text messages which I suscept a good lawyer can access. The EA was present in April. I suspect the PA didn't start until after he said he wanted the divorce, which then gave himself permission to go for it. However, he has still not filed and it has been 9 weeks! That would still be considered an A legally, right? Does that matter when it comes to dividing up assets etc.? I don't know why the first thought for everyone is to expose them, it certainly is/was mine. However, I know that it is not going to help anything...
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
There are people who know the law around here. But I'm not one of them. Keep collecting you intel. It MAY or MAY NOT be at all useful.
Remember the divorce laws vary by state. It would be a good time to start to learn yours. If nothing else this will give you some confidence in your interactions with him.
If the D goes down, and I truely hope is does not, you need to protect yourself.
9 weeks is not a lot. Look at FutureUnknown's threads! He's been plugging away for nearly 2 years and its not settled.
Stay paitient. One of the pros will chime in and give you better advice soon.
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
'Is it a deal-breaker'... This is a really hard one. It is not a deal-breaker in that I would still go to marriage counseling and work on the marriage. Can I say that I could forgive this... not entirely sure. Possibly, would try.
How do I act toward him now? Do I confront him about this? Please help, I have to see him (& her) every day this week. Our professional world is small community, people will start to figure this out and I do not want to play their game and protect them. I can't believe I married someone that wouldn't be smarter than to fall into this trap. In the e-mails, she is obviously pursing him but he is certainly guilty of enjoying all the attention and flirting back. I am sure she has 'made him feel like a man'.
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
