Rabbit, Sanderika and GAG, Thanks for your valuable feedback. It's been so helpful! I need time to absorb it.

I went back through my skype conversations and I see he mentioned divorce and settlement 12 Aug and again 29 Aug. Both times I told him I have the paperwork here and to come by and do it with me. Both times he's said ok but done nothing. We even got to the point of nominating a weekend to do it.

I think H let himself get too close when he said sorry and took responsibility for his actions. He then had to remind me that although we had shared this quite intense healing moment we were still getting divorced. I agreed but reminded him as I have before that for me once divorced it changes the dynamic between us as we become co-parents rather than friends. That's me being rigid in my thinking, I guess.

Interestingly, he didn't ask for a time we could work on the papers or suggest he could pick them up from me. He told me that the delay was costing money. H is a business person. He is decisive, intelligent and very money conscious. The only thing I can see is that he is sitting on the fence....too scared to take the final step. He's had numerous opportunities to do this. There's a pattern here...... initiate settlement/divorce and when I get involved blame me for non action and again do nothing. Why? Because all the way through I've said divorce changes everything and he doesn't want to risk having me leave his life entirely. In the meantime he can have me and ow on side while he lives alone.

So after a wonderful day with a healing conversation and weeks of mutual work towards a positive relationship he's built another wall between us but not a wall that's high enough that we can't see each other, just enough to obscure the view. In the past this would have been an explosive argument. Now it's a glitch.

So I have to ask myself again; do I stop the limbo and give him what he wants? Do I just move on as if nothing has happened?

MIL and FIL arrive Saturday. They stay for 10 days with H. They love me and care for me. They will listen but they won't get involved. They will have a perspective though.

Bottom line is I am tired. H and I have continually shown how compatible we are but there's a boundary around him that keeps me in the beginning friend category. There'll be family outings and dinners and that's wonderful but it's not what I want in the long term. Life is too short for this and I have given too much time already. aaaaagggghhhh