She's in MLC, but I was weak. Now what?

[crushednstuck]

No worries E, I'm a big boy who can take a challenge and constructive criticism. Well not so big anymore. But I do reserve the violence for the playing field. If you ask my W, I hold too much in, but what guy doesn't?

I'm proud of my character and my honor. I'm well-regarded at work, a patient coach and a leader in my community. I'm a good father and teammate.

It could easily be argued that I'm spread thin, but I'm trying to improve all the facets of my life - being committed rather than simply involved. The irony is not lost here.

Yet as I struggle to define who I am and what I want from life, I realize the pursuit of my passions has nothing to do with my W. She takes exception with the person I want to be. As I examine the path during the second phase of my life, will I compromise my personal goals to be a husband to my W. Can the pursuit of a healthy relationship co-exist with my personal life list?

I'm trying to change things since my previous actions have not led to the intended results. I attended church for the first time in my life on a Saturday night. The pastor was focusing on Psalm 33, which in part references picking up a shield and extending a hand to those in need. He opined "What if we asked everyone we met 'How can I protect you, how can I help?', what would our nation look like then?" I couldn't help but think if I asked this of my W every day during our M, would I be here now?