I tried to log on last weekend and couldn't, this is the first chance I've had to get back....
I have had a bit of contact with H over the past 2 weeks. I had to contact him over a matter which incurred in June, we had two dirt bikes stolen back then and the police recovered them on the 30th of September. Together we went to the location and claimed them and the next day took them to a local Honda dealership to obtain restoration estimates after we did that H invited met to lunch, we had a good time. It was very casual and comfortable. It was a sit down restaurant so we were there a while together. We never mentioned the impending divorce or our relationship past or present. That was good. It was simply two friends having lunch....
Monday night he called to test his phone. He had downloaded a new app and called me to test it out (interesting it wasn't the OW)he reached out to. He must consider me a friend....
Yesterday at 7:00am he came over to deliver a new antique treasure into storage, I had made plans for the day with a friend so I was leaving at 8:00am, I stopped by the barn and his first question after looking me up and down was "Where are you going?" I told him, told him son was getting ready and would be out shortly and left. Son was going to spend the day with H and when they returned at 8:00pm his first question to me was "How was your day at______?". We chatted a short time about their day together and he left. I think I can do this casual friend thing just fine, it felt good when he left (that he actually left) and I know he sees us in a good place of friendship....
I feel good right now....I am ready for this divorce. I am ready to move on, not to a new relationship by any means, just to be somewhere else other than the place I have been for 5 years. I feel like I have a broken spirit towards my H. To explain it better.....I worked incessantly for 5 years, I hoped for 5 years, I did all the right things as far as DB is concerned and my marriage is still ending. I feel purged of those feelings for H and my marriage. I feel like I am ready for the first time to let go and let God. A sense of peace over this horrible ordeal has taken over me.... I am letting him go.
What have I gained? I am respectful and strong and capable. I am a rock. I am on my own and I can do this. My son and I have a wonderful relationship and I am thankful for that. My H and I have recreated a friendship (I have decided to maintain it as it is), where in each others presence we are kind and considerate and nothing more. I don't want more from him. After all, this is an accomplishment of durability and strength. We have traveled miles towards the creation of this friendship such as it is.....a mountain of sorts did move for this to happen. A reason to be thankful as well.....
Tulsa, I found your list of things that your wife did that turned your heart to be very interesting....you have described me to a "T". WOW!!!
The kiddo wants foooood!!! I will close for now with ((((Hugs)))) for all of you and big big thanks for your kindness and friendship
Sanderika
ME48/H48MLC T 33y M 28y S16 OW 8/7/05 Bomb 8/16/05 Sep 9/05 H f'd D 10/3/08 D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09 D dismissed 2/5/10 H served me D papers again 9/4/10 D dismissed 9/26/11
