My medical check came back "better than expected" as there were NO issues at all. Not even a single "deficiency" in the tests. Doc was a little surprised there was nothing to even mention "to watch". Cholesterol, BP, ECG, testosterone were all "good or better". Surprised me, too. Given the last 6 months of stress.
Doc mention the butts by any chance??? just sayin' ....
Originally Posted By: Seedy Bare
It sounds odd (and I've had some people mention it, too) but I am beginning to feel like myself again. The new skin is getting comfortable and I'm actually enjoying myself most days. Certainly more optimistic and worry-free. Taking days "as they are" and not stressing out of "outcomes and expectations"applies to more than just my M. And it's really helping. I don'y "sweat the small stuff" anymore. I still don't like the off-weeks without D2 but sneaking in to see her at dayhome helps.
So where is my mindset? In the last week or so I have come to the realization that I need to mourn the loss of my M and my W. Neither will ever be the same. Neither will return-certainly not as they were. Quite frankly, I wouldn't want either back as they were. That's why I'm in this situation.
Learning to not sweat the small stuff was no small feat for this (mostly)former control freak ... but it has changed my life.
One of the things I learned is that it is perfectly normal to grieve that which we no longer have, even if we don't want it back (at all or even just as it was). You are wise to allow yourself to move through the stages. Keep on truckin'...
Originally Posted By: Seedy Bare
the only thing I haven't figured out is what all the above says about me and my DB work. I don't know if this is where I'm supposed to be. It comes down to this and I've said it before- Is it working for me? Yes. Is it busting the A or the D? No
You are exactly where you are supposed to be, wanna know how I know? Because we all are. It's that simple. This point in your journey is where you are supposed to be for whatever the reason is ... it just is. We are all told very early on that there are no guarentees when it comes to our marriages, and we are also told that if we do the work we will save ourselves. I believe it because I am living it. I'm now invested in the journey and less concerned with the destination. This is the gift of our sitchs, the "silver lining". And the bonus ... IF our spouses do their work, see us for who we really and truly are when the dust settles and we're wearing our new skin ... then MAYBE our marriages can be saved. It takes time ... and the beautiful twist ... it's then OUR choice to make. We will be emotionally healthy, whole people no longer in NEED ...
Originally Posted By: Seedy Bare
"Your right to swing your arms extends as far as the tip of my nose"
Love this! Reminds me of Puppy's Boundaries of Personal Integrity. Speaking of which ...
Originally Posted By: Seedy Bare
And this place will NEVER be the same without Puppy. He was one of the first to come to my aid and I know he sent up "The Bat Signal" on more than one occasion to get other "Enchanters" on my thread. Thank you, PDT!!
Ditto man. Ditto.
Hope you had a great time at hockey this morning! Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
just sayin' ....
