Hi GAG....I'm reading with great interest all of the latest developments in your sitch. You have no idea how I'm rooting for you....I would love to see you happy.
I wanted to ask you....did you ever feel anger and resentment towards your H after the bomb and through the divorce? If so, how did you deal with it?
I'm still struggling with it....
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
She said that she has been a DB coach for 4 years and it is her observation that MLC takes longer to resolve than many of the books indicate. (That seems like bad news for many of us here).
There is no Santa either is there?
Easter Bunny?
Man...you suck...
Don't talk about the timeline.
Pointless BUT different for everyone.
Mine was fast BND's? slow.
It doesn't matter though IF you use the time wisely.
Hell BND could have gotten a degree during here time.
I could have gotten an Associates.
Last edited by Jack_Three_Beans; 10/07/1005:35 PM. Reason: I suck at spelling
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
It all sounds very encouraging! I still don't like you having gotten a package from someone..that is creepy! Also, very encouraging words from your DB coach!!! Thankyou for sharing those!
I also want to thankyou for posting Piyra's horoscope on my thread! She does always seem to have very postive things to say too!!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
As mentioned above, I've heard friends make the best lovers. I've found that to be true . . . twice. You can your H not be your very best friend in the world.
Interesting about the book, hair and writing analysis. Feel like I'm involved in a CSI adventure. My question: Does it make you feel threatened, or just angry, or just merely curious?
Thanks Mila, Eric, MHL, Jack, CW, Rabbit, and Punkin for your feedback and support! Autumn always makes me feel like cocooning, so I have been missing H/XH more than normal lately. In my sitch I feel like XH is closer than he has ever been since before the bomb. Yet I now know that 2 or 3 barriers are still in the way, and I don't know if XH is capable of overcoming those. Trying to keep busy.
I'm proud to report that my table tennis coach thinks I can play well enough to join a novice table tennis league!!! My coach says he will give me a high handicap so that people will play with me. I've never done anything like this, so this will be fun! My first night is monday.........Funny thing is, I mentioned my coach's table tennis league to XH a couple weeks ago and I could see that he was VERY interested.........probably wanted to play (he has played in racquetball leagues in the past), so when I told XH a few days ago that I would start playing in a league next week, he was very interested and supportive. I didn't offer for XH to join the league because that is MY thing. This will be a good way for me to meet new people. XH will no doubt be checking up on me to find out how I did on monday.
Update on the CSI mystery: --BMF's X-GF gave me 5 more samples of BMF's handwriting. There appear to be a lot of similarities with the writing in the anonymous package --Yesterday I ordered kits to test the chocolate material for marijuana, methamphetamine, and cocaine. They should arrive early next week. --XH didn't get a sample of BMF's fingerprints thursday night. He couldn't find an opportunity....I suspect he has mixed feelings about this too.
Originally Posted By: missherlove
I am going to have to get my D13 to read up on your sitch with all this investigative analysis going on, she is a CSI, Law and Order, NCIS junkie.
MHL,.........FUNNY!!!!!!! Perhaps your D13 could recommend additional tests that I should have done??????? Seriously, MHL, I ordered the forensic testing kits from: http://store.sirchie.com/. They have a lot of stuff in their catalog. You might be able to find really cool Christmas gifts for D13 in here.
Originally Posted By: missherlove
Originally Posted By: goodattitudegirl
(longer than just a perfunctory hug)
Hey, watch your language, young lady......LOL.
MHL, this made me LAUGH! You've been hanging around with Eric too long. I wrote "perfunctory"......not "perfuctory". Sheesh!!!
Originally Posted By: Mila
I wanted to ask you....did you ever feel anger and resentment towards your H after the bomb and through the divorce? If so, how did you deal with it?
Mila, I would say that I had/have more frustration than anger and resentment toward H/XH. I have a degree in neuroscience so when H dropped the bomb, one of the things I did was read everything (research-based) that I could get my hands on that talked about the role of brain circuits and neurochemistry in emotion and the effect of childhood trauma on those things. I know intellectually that H/XH's childhood trauma caused his brain to be wired differently, and once Jody confirmed that XH is in MLC, the rest of the pieces fell into place (i.e. brain changes also occur with depression). The sources I read about this include David Schnarch's "Intimacy and Desire", Louis Cozolino's "The Neuroscience of Human Relationships: Attachment and the Developing Social Brain" and "The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy: Healing the Social Brain", Daniel Amen's "The Brain in Love", and the Charlie Rose show's brain series (www.charlierose.com/view/collection/10702).
Jack, thanks for your feedback. I understand that it doesn't help much to focus on timelines. I was just passing along what Jody told me.
Originally Posted By: Lost Rabbit
frustrating that it seems so close and yet so far!
Rabbit, you summed up exactly how I feel these days.
Originally Posted By: punkin
My question: Does it make you feel threatened, or just angry, or just merely curious?
Punkin, I feel that I have an opportunity to provide XH evidence that BMF is jealous of my R with H/XH, even though our contact is very limited right now. If the evidence shows that BMF sent the package, XH would see that BMF lies to him the same way he lies to others. In my situation BMF has been a major barrier. When I talked to Jody about this last week I asked "Why would XH initiate recreational outings with me all summer even though he was dating OW#2 throughout this time?" Jody said, "XH moved closer to you because BMF was out of the picture". She isn't usually this blunt, and this confirmed the nagging feeling I've had about BMF for years. This is the closest I've gotten to wanting revenge. I know that I need to keep that emotion in check. It clouds judgement.
My coach says he will give me a high handicap so that people will play with me. 
I've never done anything like this, so this will be fun! My first night is monday.........Funny thing is, I mentioned my coach's table tennis league to XH a couple weeks ago and I could see that he was VERY interested.........probably wanted to play (he has played in racquetball leagues in the past), so when I told XH a few days ago that I would start playing in a league next week, he was very interested and supportive. I didn't offer for XH to join the league because that is MY thing. This will be a good way for me to meet new people. XH will no doubt be checking up on me to find out how I did on monday.
Seriously, MHL, I ordered the forensic testing kits from: 
You've been hanging around with Eric too long. I wrote "perfunctory"......not "perfuctory". Sheesh!!!