Thanx Jin. Easier said tho bc today W voicing lotsa doubts. Ugh. Kinda forgot there will b ups n downs. Long haul here. U n I are in same boat really. Have been limping along since last year with not one but two EA/PA's no less. Am I interested in making my M work? Sure. But sometimes I look at my ditch n ask if I have what it takes to see this thru. I will NOT excuse any backward slides by W. I smell OM2 n I'm done. That will b it. Suspect some of W's behavior is due to warring emotions n feelings over her A however much she's denied that.
Tonight we were talking about her therapist who actually asked my W why is she's even bothering trying to work on our M given the "emotional abuse" I've subjected the W to? Ha. I responded by saying I don't like her therapist n made short comment on my hurt from her A. The W was speechless bc almost couldn't bring herself to see how much hurt she's heaped upon me. Totally self centered. But it's typical I guess. Maybe the insight into what she's wrought will hit later. Who knows. She has doubts n I can honestly say I'm sometimes weary n disappointed in her n her antics n her words n feelings n general lack of regard for anyone else but herself.
She can tell that to her therapist. I also asked if she had revealed everything to her therapist. She implied yes but m doubtful. Still evasive with actually fessing up to A. Ugh. Add frustrating to my other feelings. Maybe m just tired bc it's late. Besides yearn physical intimacy at times but WAY too soon. Last night W said all along she has never yearned nor had sexual desires or attraction to n for me. Hard to believe. She said all along it was one sided from me only. Yeah. Right. Guess it's rule #1, no?
