I absolutely do not want a D. There would be no real financial gain for me if I filed first. The only reason I would even consider filing is to have it on record that H's affair is why the marriage ended, not the no-fault no one's to blame way H is planning on filing.
New thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2112303
I am torn about what to do in regards to the filing. I want it known that the reason the marriage didn't work out is because of Whore. But really, in the long run does it matter? Counterfiling with adultery will drag out the process, cost me money that I don't have to spend and increase H's animosity towards me. And in the end, I'll still be divorced and miserable.
It hurts so bad to know that H is so eager to get free of me. It hurts that he chose Whore over me, his wife, the one he married, intending it to be forever. I miss him so much. I miss being able to talk to him about anything and everything. I miss him e-mailing or texting me randomly for no important reason other than to just make contact. I miss the day to day sharing of a life and a home. I often find myself on evenings and weekends wondering what H is doing. I hate what Whore has done to my family, to my relationship with H. I hate that she stole from me the option of giving H a second child. I know that if he files for divorce that really it won't change anything but I still dread getting that document. It's kind of like a marriage license. You think "Oh, it's just a piece of paper" but it really does change things.
I know that for some reason God has allowed this to happen to me, to us. But I don't understand why He did. Right now all I can see happening is I am hurt beyond repair and become bitter and cynical, all the while pining away for H. Right now the future looks so bleak and hopeless. I'm trying my damnedest to hang on to that hope, that promise I felt God made to me the night I was praying and He answered. I need to stop being such a control freak and trust in Him. But oh how I hate not knowing what is going to happen for H and I down the road.
This post sums up exactly how I feel also.
I wish you the best from the bottom of my heart, I'll pray things work out somehow.
M-38 W-37 T-16,M-11 (Oct 30,1999) S-5 S-2 Wife left 7/4/2010
"When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?" — Henry Rollins
CW ~ No, the reason used for the divorce won't affect the financial outcome. I don't know if it will help me to heal and move forward.
Lostinlife ~ I know where you are. It is a crappy place to be. I just want to shake H and yell at him "What are you doing? You know this is wrong, so get your a$$ home now!" But I know he's too deep in the affair fog.
New thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2112303
CW ~ No, the reason used for the divorce won't affect the financial outcome. I don't know if it will help me to heal and move forward.
Lostinlife ~ I know where you are. It is a crappy place to be. I just want to shake H and yell at him "What are you doing? You know this is wrong, so get your a$$ home now!" But I know he's too deep in the affair fog.
Yeah,the shaking part pops in my head quite often, my wife won't talk at all to me, she is arrogant about the whole thing. Meanwhile I am heartbroken and miss my family dearly.
I wonder how they totally ignore all the memories, and act like our life never happened.
M-38 W-37 T-16,M-11 (Oct 30,1999) S-5 S-2 Wife left 7/4/2010
"When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?" — Henry Rollins
Lost, I think it's a survival instinct they develop. They block out any and all memories of the good times and pretend the life we remember never happened so they don't have to feel the guilt for destroying it.
New thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2112303
Lost, I think it's a survival instinct they develop. They block out any and all memories of the good times and pretend the life we remember never happened so they don't have to feel the guilt for destroying it.
I would have a hard time destroying a family like they have. I am stuck in a living nightmare and she goes about her life, cocky and proud as can be.
Until the day I die, I'll never figure it out.
M-38 W-37 T-16,M-11 (Oct 30,1999) S-5 S-2 Wife left 7/4/2010
"When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?" — Henry Rollins
Very true. I look at our son and wonder how on earth he could walk away from him and go from full-time dad to part time dad and not be bothered with it. Sure, he says he misses DS but apparently not enough to work on the marriage and try to save it.
New thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2112303
Had to talk to H today. I kept it as brief as possible and made sure to say bye and hang up first. It is in the original papers that H gets DS on days where there is no school. With the modified visitation schedule we're on he is also supposed to get DS tomorrow. So he asked if he could keep DS overnight tomorrow and bring him home around noon on Monday. I said that would be fine and I had an appointment at noon so I would meet him at one instead.
Normally I would have said no, and made him bring DS home at 3 tomorrow and then pick up DS again at 10 on Monday. However this will work out well for me, I will be able to go through my bank statements to find out all the money I've paid out that H has not reimbursed me for so I can fill out the violation of support form.
New thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2112303
