I'm in a similar place as you. I fully expect to get papers by the end of the month, and am now in the place where I have to decide if counterfiling using the grounds of adultery is worth it. Monetarily, it doesn't make sense because I'd be spending so much on the lawyer and not getting anything out of the divorce, but morally I want it known that the marriage couldn't be saved because H was having an affair.
Like you, I tried to fix things and like your H, mine claims to have tried but really, he didn't. I suspect there was at the very least an EA already going on because each night he went to bed early and made sure to bring his cell phone with him.
I'm inclined to agree w/you. That behaviour is suspicious, especially in light of the fact that you later learned he was having a PA.
As for my H, he never even claimed that he tried to fix it. He told one of my friends that we just grew apart & changed too much. He omitted the part that the reason we grew apart was b/c he was boning a whore behind my back. H is still caught up in blaming the whole demise of the M on me.
There was a point in the beginning of the year where H said to me that he was thinking about what he may have contributed to the breakdown of the M. I asked him what that was, but he became hostile & told me it was none of my business!
As for me counter filing under A, I'm standing firm on this. H ended M due to A. H filed irretrievable breakdown - as if we just couldn't get along or something. H & I know that the real reason is A. I have no intention of letting H off the hook. He did it, he needs to own it. The whole pattern is indicative of a larger pattern of H shirking responsibility.
I allowed H to steam roller all my boundaries over the course of the R/M. Now I'm unwilling to do it.
M & H: 40 M: 5.5 T: 7.5 OW: 7/09 Bomb: 9/09 Sep: 3/10 H files 7/10
