I've been following along but didn't have a chance to post until now. You sound incredibly centered in your last post. I am SO glad for you! It sounds as though seeing a path forward has given you peace.
Jody always told me to "drop the rope" when I was in the place where you are now. It sounds as though you led with grace in your exchange with H. H must have been looking at you and thinking to himself "How can Mila be so gracious after what has happened?" This will only serve to sharpen the contrast between you and OW......and OW can't help but sense this attitude change in your H (OK, bring out the 2 x 4's, I'm mind-reading here, but this is essentially what happened in my situation). The meetings I had with H/XH splitting up our assets with a kind, generous spirit were some of the most difficult moments since the bomb for me. These meetings will set the tone for your future R and are the way that you will be able to show H the "new Mila". Jody always told me that if I graciously talked with H about the D negotiations it would "supercharge" my 180s.
It is possible that throughout this process, the significance of what H is doing will dawn on him, but please remember "No expectations". There were so many points in my D that I thought "this might jolt H into realizing what he is doing", but I never saw any evidence of that. My XH's movement forward has been slow as molasses. MLC is a mental health issue and the MLCer doesn't process events and information the way that others do.............and then once in awhile something registers in their brain
Originally Posted By: Mila
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Couldn't believe it when my H commented and "liked it"....seriously...
