New to this community seeking advice 2

[JR09]

W just picked up the boys. This is the worst time after I've had the boys with me. I just feel useless, abandoned. It was a tense evening tonight before W showed up. I was at dinner with the boys. I reminded them we needed to get ready for my W coming around at 8:00PM. S11 asked why they couldn't stay til tomorrow morning. I said that was what W and I agreed upon.

So S11 calls W and asks the aame question. She then wants to talk to me and is really upset over the phone, telling me why I can't stick to the agreement etc,etc, why she hates me so much because I involved the boys into this because now she's going to look bad, and on and on. I just replied I'll have the boys ready at 8:00PM as planned. Then she hung up.

She then called back again a few minutes later and said I won and I might as well keep the boys all weekend. I told her S11 is OK and that I had a talk with him. She said I was lying. I just kept my calm and told her everything was OK and she can come pick up the boys as planned this evening. She then screamed: stop talking! So I remained silent. And there was LOTS of silence after that before I got disconnected.

I called W back to ask her what she wanted to do after all. I told her the boys will be ready as planned. She had calmed down quite a bit already and just said OK.

W came, boys said goodbye, and here I am on my own again. I hate this. I just hate the feeling. But I'm not the only one going thru this, I know. I still hate it. In the end I held myself pretty OK this evening. I think I did well. Never raised my voice. Never lost my composure. Just got emotional when I hugged the boys goodbye. But that's it.

I suspect some of you out there may think I was too kind or quick to abdicate, surrender my rights, who knows. Maybe I should have fought for that extra night with the kids. I still remember this: you don't always have to be right. It took me 2 years to get this straight. I don't always have to be right. I did OK this evening. Tough moment, but OK. I still had a great time with the boys.

Joel