Well...ok. Why not spend sometime getting to know eachother and if you end up moving you guys stay in touch and see where it all goes? A true test of friendship/love is a long distance relationship...not that it's necessary or ideal even but sometimes it is what it is. If you guys continue to feel this way the good thing is you can make choices in the future to move closer. What are you scared of?
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Job interview went well I think. They said they should know by the end of next week. I really hope i get it!
What am i afraid of? i guess getting hurt, or hurting someone else. It's really soon after my divorce and I'm just wondering if its a good idea to complicate my life at this point. or even bring someone else into my mess of emotions and make them deal with that. IDK... I'll try to avoid any more drunken silliness! BAD BREN!!
When you are happy as an individual, you are in a better position to determine whether a partner enhances your happy life or weighs it down.
Kudos on the interview. Am crossing my fingers for you. I think it's ery normal to worry about being hurt again especially as the LBS, and also getting someone else's hopes up when you're not emotionally there yet. Either way, you'll be just fine Have you seen him again? (the work guy).
It sounds like a *rebound relationship* which makes you feel desired, wanted, attractive, etc. because you haven't had any of those things for a long time. Please, take a step back and spend some time alone to find out who you really are and what you really want. In time, if this relationship is meant to be, he will still be there for you.
NO, it is not a good idea to bring someone else into your life until you are "whole" again, or at least well on your way. There's no time limit for that, but for most of the people I've asked, it takes about a year. Give yourself the gift of time to think about your life!!! No need to be in a hurry right now.
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Hey DB friends! Long time, no talk!! I've been displaced for several weeks but now I'm getting back into a groove... I think... I hope.
I did not end up getting that job. NBD... I'm still applying. I won't give up. Leaves me more time to spend with my mom. Her surgery went well and she'll start chemo next week. She's a triple negative so the chemo will bump her survival rate to 72%. She's got some back pain and seems to be struggling emotionally, but she's doing everything right. She's doing physical therapy and regular massages for the back and seeing a therapist for the emotional stuff.
My brother in law is a police officer and was shot in the hand last week pursuing a suspect. He'll be alright but it was an added stress we all didn't need. My sister is handling everything very poorly. She's freaking out over the silliest stuff. I'm trying to get her to see a therapist.
I think at the end of this year I'm going to get my family t-shirts that say "I survived 2010." From Divorce to deaths, cancer and gunshot wounds... I keep asking God what more he has in store for my family. Haven't we been through enough? I guess it's not me to choose. I am grateful that it didn't all happen at the same time. He allowed my marriage to end before my mom discovered her cancer, he allowed us to get through her surgery before my brother in law got shot... I'm just ready for the year to end.
You'd all be proud of me though. It's been almost a month since I saw/spoke to my exH. He's e-mailed several times and I have NOT responded. I never did give him my phone number so he can't call. I'm feeling good about it. I'm glad I fought for us because I have the closure I needed. I'm glad to be free of it too.
As for the work guy that I hooked up with... we've decided to stay friends, but that's it. It felt good and we had a good time together, but that is all it can be. I'm home with my family and its my turn to be strong. Whatever the next few months bring... I can handle it.
Hope all is well with all of you!
When you are happy as an individual, you are in a better position to determine whether a partner enhances your happy life or weighs it down.
Bren, good to see you. Wow you sure deserve an award for surviving 2010. A few years from now you'll look back at this and say 'I'm so glad it was all over with in the same year'. And you'll be proud that you survived it all.
Glad to hear about your mom's surgery- sorry about your BIL maybe therapy/counseling will be good for your sister. Because of your D you're more resilient to emotional trauma but it really is a lot of stuff to happen in a short period of time so I'm sure it's hard for your sister.
Glad that you and the work guy sorted it out...if things are meant to be they will.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Yo folks... long time no post... yet again! Been busy and that's good I s'pose. Keeps my mind off stuff. Two months now and I'm still glad I went through the divorce. He has e-mailed a couple of times. Most of the time it is related to "expect a check in the mail for HOA refund". He did send a "Happy Halloween" e-mail but for the most part, I don't respond and just delete the message. If I do respond, it's to answer a direct question that I feel actually needs to be addressed. No response has been more than a "yes" or "no."
I'm finding that the more time I spend away from him in no contact, the more I hate him, the more vengeful I am. I want everyone in his life to know what a horrible person he is. Before the d was finalized, word got out at work about his relationship with OW. He covered it up by telling everyone that he and I were "separated" before his relationship with her began. THATS CRAP!! Jerk!! Whatever he needs to tell himself to feel better about his behavior. But all this building... I just want to tell everyone he knows what a horrible person he is. What he did to me. I want to destroy his life like he did mine. He stole the future I had planned for myself. Now here I am back at square one. I know I have an opportunity here to start a new life and plan a new future and I can make it whatever I want, I'm just pissed that I have to. I want him to be at square one too.
Hopefully this is normal and I'm not a complete crazy person. Job search continues, mom is half way done with the really crappy chemo doses, bro in law recovering nicely from gunshot... My new life better than the way I was living earlier this year, I just want him to suffer the way I did. What can I say... I'm an anger ball when it comes to my ex.
Hope all is well with you guys!!
When you are happy as an individual, you are in a better position to determine whether a partner enhances your happy life or weighs it down.
