FTR, I agree your H is having a MLC. MLC = Confusion.
I found this quote over in the archives.
Quote:
Mid life crisis involves ones hormonal, psychological, interpersonal, social, sexual and spiritual components.
Obviously MLC messes with ones whole body. It's no wonder they are different people from who we thought we knew.
Punkin, for as much pain as we're in, be grateful that we're not in the kind of pain the MLCer is dealing with.
It does no good to try to rationalize or reason with them for they have the capacity for neither.
You may get moments of clarity or a peek out of the tunnel. You may get a brief glimpse of the person you married, but don't blink because they duck back in just as fast. Zero expectations again will get you through.
Right now your H is at the stage where everything you do or say equals pressure and guilt. It just adds to the tremendous amount he already is feeling. He can't or won't face the issues that keep him running at this time, so he uses those things to justify his actions.
If you want a chance to possibly save and rebuild your M you must be the the safe place. Vent here to us, we're your safe place.
It takes the MLCer a very long time to come through the tunnel. If your end goal is to R then the only way to have that chance is to outlast your H's MLC.
You know there are no guarantees. That's why living your life for you is so important. You're a strong woman Punkin, you can do this.
