She's in MLC, but I was weak. Now what?

[ericmsant2]

Crushed,

I have been thinking about our exchange and at first was not really going to respond BUT then again that wouldn’t be me now would it. One thing sticks out at me in your response.

Respect is earned when we live up to our promises

Live up to our “promise”…

You mean like….

I promise to love you unconditionally JUST the way YOU are

I promise to be there for you in the good times and bad times

I promise for better or for worse (and FTR, this is the worse part)

I promise till death due us part (notice I excluded even if your fuc*ing someone else – it is implied by the use of “death”)

You meant those types of promises- right?

Did you make those promises on your wedding day? I did. Before you answer keep reading….

They were not capable of dealing with the problems at this time. You know what I know? At any point in the last 6 years I was not capable of making the changes I have made in the last year. So in a way I spent the previous 5-6 years escaping in my own way.

Look up there buddy ^^^^^ read that fuc*er a few times.

You see you my friend, want promises with conditions!

I did too so don’t feel bad.

Crushed, let me ask YOU a question….

How much chit did your wife have to put up with and for HOW long? Fukc it don’t answer me…I’ll tell you my story and you can let me know if anything applies to you.

I did not respect my wife

We were codependent

I was in my own crisis and did not know it

I emotionally abandoned my wife while I went off and did my “career thang”

I hung out all the time and left my wife with the child rearing duties

I did not validate how SHE felt

I did not work on MY issues

[censored]..i gained weight and really did not feel to good about myself.

BTW, while I was doing this….I can look in the mirror and honestly say…..

SHE LOVED ME…WITH EVERY FUC*ing fiber of her being!

So honestly, in my book….she deserves MY respect EVEN when she is off f*cking someone else.

She did not ask for this crisis, nor did I…

BUT my promise to ME…..is….this...I’m gonna keep my promise!

Included in promise are some of the things that I strive and hope for which is …

I want to love HER unconditionally…..

I want to be there when and IF she falls….

I want to be there in whatever capacity that SHE decides

AND

One day…….and it may be right before she passes, I may already be remarried, who the hell knows…BUT

I do know that ONE day…

She will look at me and say….

Thank you – I respect YOU.

I’m not gonna tell you how to secure YOUR respect….

I know how I’m getting mine.

Sorry if this was a brutal post. Just take a look at your quote again…

Eric