I did read your update. It sounds to me like there are some positive signs in your sitch, also.
I am not as far along on the detachment train as you are. I am striving for it and feel I get better every day. Things she say or does still bother me; I'm only human. They don't control me or throw me into that feeling of hopelessness any longer.
You are in the right frame of mind for all of this. Of course you hope that she comes around. You are prepared if she doesn't and you know you will prosper either way.
Congrats on the job! Good luck and I'm sure you will be a valuable asset to the company.
Don't be a stranger. I still look forward to hearing and learning from you.
I did read your update. It sounds to me like there are some positive signs in your sitch, also.
I am not as far along on the detachment train as you are. I am striving for it and feel I get better every day. Things she say or does still bother me; I'm only human. They don't control me or throw me into that feeling of hopelessness any longer.
You are in the right frame of mind for all of this. Of course you hope that she comes around. You are prepared if she doesn't and you know you will prosper either way.
Congrats on the job! Good luck and I'm sure you will be a valuable asset to the company.
Don't be a stranger. I still look forward to hearing and learning from you.
I just called my L and she was actually reminding me that she had the papers ready. The were ready a couple weeks ago when my co-workers daughter got sick. I didn't file then. My L is really trying to talk me into doing it.
I'm tired of waiting and not knowing. I'm also terrified of taking that "final" step.
IDU, wait until it feels right. This isn't a game, it's your life. That is a big step to take and you need to know that you're doing what's right for you and your children. (((Hugs)))
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I don't know IDU. I'm starting to think you should just push through it and file. You can still drag it out and you could always withdraw it. I think you have been scared too long and you need to keep moving forward. Just another step.
There may be dread, but it may be the only way out of limbo hell.
I know that I feel better now that I am not living with W anymore. My friends see that I am getting better too. It;s like bad medicine. You have to take it to get better.
Just what I am thinking for u tonight. I think it is the way forward.
I keep being so indecisive. It's a big decision to make. I'm sure my W can see that in my actions. I just don't know. At least I'm here with my kids. When the D or S happens, I won't be.
Not looking for advice, just letting it out. Let go, drop the rope, etc....It's the only way out. I don't want make it any easier on her. That's what I tell myself, anyway. And it's partly true. I want her to do the heavy lifting, telling our friends and family that she filed, telling the other parents at school and board members that she filed.
Of course, my L wants me to file first and go for temp. custody. We would still have to come up with a custody agreement, CS, etc. And it will be more expensive. I haven't really been told that there is a definite advantage of filing first.
So, I've decided to stay and keep calling her on CB and loving my kids as much as possible. I hate sounding so wishy-washy. I know it's no harder for me than anyone else here. I know what it took for others to turn things around. I just can't be the one to leave. I can't do it.
I can continue to push her buttons and try to get her to leave. I'm happy around her all the time and am always doing things with the kids. I'm going out tonite with friends and have plans tomorrow nite, also.
