I keep being so indecisive. It's a big decision to make. I'm sure my W can see that in my actions. I just don't know. At least I'm here with my kids. When the D or S happens, I won't be.
Not looking for advice, just letting it out. Let go, drop the rope, etc....It's the only way out. I don't want make it any easier on her. That's what I tell myself, anyway. And it's partly true. I want her to do the heavy lifting, telling our friends and family that she filed, telling the other parents at school and board members that she filed.
Of course, my L wants me to file first and go for temp. custody. We would still have to come up with a custody agreement, CS, etc. And it will be more expensive. I haven't really been told that there is a definite advantage of filing first.
So, I've decided to stay and keep calling her on CB and loving my kids as much as possible. I hate sounding so wishy-washy. I know it's no harder for me than anyone else here. I know what it took for others to turn things around. I just can't be the one to leave. I can't do it.
I can continue to push her buttons and try to get her to leave. I'm happy around her all the time and am always doing things with the kids. I'm going out tonite with friends and have plans tomorrow nite, also.
