OK, I don't know much, and I get what the problem you are having is, but...
just to play Devil's Advocate here, if things could be different if you both really wanted them to be different, what would your wife be doing different than what she is doing now?
If she wanted them to be different, she wouldn't say she'd be gone if we didn't have the girls.
She wants me to stay for the girls. Not for her.
But with that said, she's doing and acting pretty much what I'd want, with the exception of initiating affection. Maybe I expected too much too soon. But her motive is what's moving me.
